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I really liked this one, it even got me a bit teary-eyed

I'm not even entirely sure why. Maybe it was the theme, but it was really nice

A short story about elderly people playing bingo turns into an exploration of what it means to win

Overall, a great read!

I like this story's premise, but it is also very strange to me.

All in all, an interesting read.

First of all, the art style of this project is really good! The color, the rough brushstrokes, beautiful.

The premise of the story is interesting, a post-apocalyptic world with Fungus parasites. Cool!

All in all, great potential if some rough edges are polished.

The production of this is fantastic. The little animations, the zoom on the backgrounds for setting, the magnifying glass for the bee. Lovely

The only issue I have with the UI, (and it is an issue of taste more than anything) is the honey-comb buttons line-art looks bold and smooth, and it clashes with the character's rough line-art.

The TV segments that add backstory and flavor to the world are neat, and the reveal due to it is interesting. It's a shame there wasn't more time, because the story was just starting when it ended

All in all, excellent entry. I wanna know what happens next!

You hit the nail on the head in so many of the points, I gotta add to it.

The double outline was certainly "a choice", probably the wrong one.

I wanted the narration in the center, and didn't want to darken the background so the pictures were visible.
One outline didn't look right for me, as it would blend with the pictures, and transparent ones created these weird artifacts.
Also, thicker outlines were out of the question, because of the way Renpy Renders text.

This is a thing I spent a lot of time testing, and in the end I chose the double-outline as a short-sighted compromise.

The center text for the main character's thoughts was important to me, because I wanted to make it clear when something is actually being heard vs when it is only thought or described.
Kinda like the way they do it in the 999 DS version, where narration is in one screen, and dialogue is in the other.

Of course, here they benefited from having two screens, and the narration's background wasn't important so it could be obscured.
Different case, but it explains the intention.

The missing ending period was a deliberate choice, 100% a wrong one.
When I started writing I DID have a period at the end of every sentence, but I thought it looked weird with the red arrow, and thought it could replace it.
I also added them when a character would stop speaking and a different character would start speaking.
 

This choice was unfortunately not the correct one, and I may have missed some.
I'm adding the periods in an update.

***

You got me on the story.

As it is pretty rare, cases of double connections are even rarer, but not impossible.

So I had two options here:
1- There were no records of a second string ever happening before.
2- There were records of it happening, but it happened long ago and/or in secluded areas so it is considered a myth.

Either way would be a news-worthy event.

Since Nadir is from a different city, the general public doesn't necessarily know he had a connection before, so the only ones in the know would be him and Roberto. And with Roberto not liking the general idea of the Red string and him being very private, the only ones who could make it public would be Nadir, Amira, and potentially people who have known him and recognized him in the video.

However, exploring this would have made the story considerably longer and when I got to this point I was on the last days of writing. So I did not address it.

The idea of the red string is that it connects people in a visible way, and people gave it their own interpretation. And I made it so it is handled the way the Catholic  marriage is handled.
With regular marriage you can get divorced.
With Catholic marriage it is handled as a union by God and is unbreakable, so divorce is not allowed (annulment is possible under very specific circumstances, but that's another story).

Because it was based on this, the general population has an idealization of the red-string, such that bad cases are not usually reported, like bad marriages that stay together to keep appearances.

Or so was my mental justification, which was not necessarily implied in the story. My bad

As for Nadir, you are correct.

He did not love-LOVE his fiancée, and he doesn't love-LOVE Roberto (not yet at least).
That sounds harsher than it is, but it was the intention.

Since the first connection happened when he was very young, he went with the regular expectations. And since it kinda worked out for him, he had no reason to believe it was fake if confronted by potential people who did not believe so.
He did not choose his fiancée and she did not choose him. But they did get along, and grew to care for each other. But they weren't IN LOVE.
They were expected to be together, and they didn't have a reason not to.
The whole red-thread idealization.

The separation was a kinda-attempt for each to live their lives a bit before getting together. And the loss did hurt him, because he did care for her.

A big part of the depression is meant to come not only from the loss, but from the prospect of losing their only "TRUE" connection (The one-true-soulmate belief)

For all of the above, it is hard for him to understand that someone who also has the connection rejects it.

In the end, many of these things probably did not make it to the final script. Either because my time ran out, they weren't implied clearly, or weren't there at all and I thought they were because they're in my head (hehe)

Thank you so much for your review!

I really liked this one!
Excellent premise and execution!

SPOILERS BELOW

The character dialogue is great, the characters make sense and the story flow has a good pace.

The puzzle is implemented nicely with the story, adding to the urgency.

The only issue (that may not actually be an issue) would be the exposition near the end, where Everest explains the whole backstory, and then the main villain also explains his plans and then everything gets resolved.

This part felt a bit cartoony to me, but if that was the intended vibe of the game then I just took the beginning too seriously.

Overall, it was pretty great!

This one's good!

SPOILERS BELOW

A time-loop horror story about a demonic possession handled by the reader. VERY nice!

The writing is pretty good, the characters make sense, the jokes were good, the lose of self-control of the main character was disturbing.

All in all, great execution!

Honestly, if this had a tiny bit of extra polishing and had custom music and art it would be perfect.

The premise of this story is pretty good

SPOILERS BELOW

A town seemingly stuck in time for decades, with barely any visitors and access to technology.

A mystery town which may or may not bend time, nice!

I particularly liked the start with its flowery style of writing and descriptions.

However, it felt weird to get this fancy speech from all the characters, and eventually it got a bit tiring.

The characters' reactions was also weird, like the public undressing first acted as normal and then as indecent.

Maybe that's part of the town's influence, like a supernatural effect

Overall, it was good read, and the premise is really interesting!

The way this story starts is pretty good, but feels rushed and incomplete by the end.

SPOILERS BELOW

The premise is good!
Someone finds pictures of a childhood friend, and reminisces of their friendship and falling off.

The writing in the first memory is the best part.
A story of two children who like doing things together. Their dialogue feels natural, and the pacing is good!

The last memory feels rushed, the way the children talk feels off.
For example, Victor mentioning a company by name and mentions an accident about it, and then drops it.
Then their argument feels like it comes too fast.

And then it just ends. Like I feel there was something intended to be added here, but it was cut.

So in general, the start is good, and the general idea of the story works. But I feel this suffered from the time limit.
I believe some extra polishing would improve the story

This was a short but interesting read.

SPOILERS BELOW

It starts with a backstory scene on abuse, and the rest of the story is a sexual scene which seems to address this backstory.
Brains are weird, and some fetishes come from trauma.
That's very interesting!

This feels like an exploration of this development, and honestly would've loved a longer and more thorough exploration of these characters' interaction and emotions.

In summary, a good premise that with deeper exploration and polishing would be enhanced!

This story is well written, and has a very good characterization of an awkward/shy main character. But it is very weird.

SPOILERS BELOW

It handles topics that would usually be heavy in a lighthearted and silly way, and everything gets solved with no effort.

I also have to accept that this is a weird reality where a whole lot of things are different.
Prison is basically a high-end hotel, people can travel in dragons, drugs have magical/physical effects, and apples are illegal.
Maybe everything is a metaphor.

Either way, if it had more time to cook and establish all this weirdness, and the conflict wasn't solved so easily and quickly, this prison break story would be enhanced, in my opinion

This story is (to my understanding) a prequel to a different story.

The origin of a new village which is close to an abandoned one with a disturbing past sounds really good!

The heavy use of advertisement to other stories got a chuckle out of me a couple of times, haha.

Also, the use of modified pictures to create a scene was honestly clever and beautiful.

SPOILERS BELOW

An issue for me is how everything is told to us.
The Main Character's backstory is narrated and the cast is also presented one after the other, but everything is told directly.

If this was presented in a more organic way, where we get to meet each character one at a time, and see how they interact between each other, it would help a lot with immersion and presentation.

This also happens with the abandoned Kirba village. We are only told about it, instead of it being presented as part of the story.

Maybe these things happened because of the time-limit, but in my opinion these points would enhance the story.

Overall, this has potential for a very good mystery or drama story

Oh boy, I did not understand this one.
If the point of this is being surreal, it works.

What the characters say feels off, the weight they put on things doesn't make sense.

The choices they give you seem to have a theme:
Go with what they tell you, or defy it.
Unfortunately the game is incomplete or bugged and you don't get very far after the choices, so I don't know if my reading of the theme is correct. 
Maybe the point is that the choices don't matter.

Again, I did not get it.

The art is really good though, loved the character designs and the backgrounds!

This one is interesting!

The plot ideas are good, but it needs work on the execution.
I'll give you some notes if you want to take them

SPOILERS BELOW

A trans bear character, and a shapeshifting goo-thing with a mysterious past who get in a romantic/sexual relationship.
That sounds great!

However, the story is missing many points.
Why does the bear have the goo?
Where did he got it from?
Why does he have a lab-coat thingy if he works in retail?
Why does the goo know so many advanced concepts?
We barely know anything of the characters.

All these points don't need to be answered, but them being implied or having a plausible reason would help the story a lot.
Adding this information could also improve the pacing of the story.

Political issues are mentioned, but not really addressed.
It would have been better if these were only implied in this case.
Otherwise, it may be better to explain or imply why these political issues are issues, and why it creates a reaction.

The sexual scene is awkward as it doesn't fall in either a graphic or vague scene.
It can be made graphic by adding a lot of descriptions of touch, sensations, and movement.
It can be made vague by only mentioning that it happened, and the feeling it caused.
Both can be enhanced with a picture, but it is not necessary

Points I can give to this are:

1- Great start! The writing gave me a somber mood, and the little effect of blurriness is really neat

2- Cute sprites! The notebook hand-drawn style gives it a nice identity.

I think this has potential! Just a little too short for a proper review