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Bazcus

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A member registered Aug 06, 2023 · View creator page →

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This story is hard to talk about without spoiling so:

SPOILERS This is an interesting, yet sad story, where the character gets visions of the future, and it doesn't matter what he does, he can't save the people around him, which seems to be specifically because the god that creates the visions threads the fate to not allow it.

This makes it so your different choices only changes some interactions, and do create some extra paths, but don’t allow a different outcome.

I also find interesting how some texts have the moth symbol, while others have the spider symbol. I’m not deep enough to get further meaning into it, but it added to the general vibe.

So in summary, this is a very interesting concept to explore. Would love to see it explored further.

This was a very good story! Two guys go to a cabin in the woods for a hookup. And then…

SPOILERS With the presentation I was fully expecting a horror story.

And it technically is, but not in the way I was expecting.

The fact that Ben ends up in the middle of a big after-breakup mess after being lied to is so awful.

Where’s the monster? The monster is the friends we made along the way.

All this drama being so grounded and the way it was written kept me hooked.

The concept is fun. The left and the right are dating, and it’s gay. Hahaha

SPOILERS The art for this is really good! The characters look nice, and the CG's were great! Some background angles not fitting the sprites was unfortunate, but wasn't a big deal.

I’m going to dance around the discussed politics, but I’ll mention some subjects maybe should have been handled more delicately.

Besides that, story-wise it was a fun, and an interesting concept to explore!

Also, the sex scene was hot, extra points for that!

This was a fun story!

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The premise of this story is very interesting. A photographer goes with a kaiju-chaser to take a picture of a kaiju.

SPOILERS The premise alone is a very good hook, and it kept me interested throughout the story.

The characterization of Donovan was a cartoony kind of greedy evil, which was fun.

Haruo was also an interesting character to read about a cartoony nerd obsessed with Kaijus. He was also a fun character to read.

My main issue is with the car-crash scene.

While it’s not impossible to be mostly unharmed from one, I feel there wasn’t enough weight put onto the gravity of that.

A big part of that issue is the kiss. It feels unwarranted here.

Haruo just crashed the car, and while he may need motivation, it doesn’t feel right or romantic.

If it was right after they touch Gorogon though, now THAT feels like a good place emotionally to kiss. Where they just executed a risky plan and succeeded.

Overall, a very interesting story!

Oooh! I really like the characters of this story, and the story it is setting has me intrigued.

I’m just sad that it is so short, I see a lot of potential on where this story could go!

Oh my, this was interesting!

There’s a monster in your house, or is there?

SPOILERS I'm going to start saying the hand-drawn scans are great. The little animations are very well made, and the aesthetic choices are on point. This game is very pretty.

The overall idea of the story is also interesting. A story told in such a way that one part of the story reflects the other part of the story. That was really neat!

There was a bit of a mood dissonance with the neighbor. They were screaming at first, and suddenly turn very understanding and provide story exposition when talking directly with Carlos. I feel that if the monster’s background had stayed a mystery it would have added to the story.

Also, this is more of a me-thing but if the tone at the monster’s presentation had been more neutral or creepy, the monster’s harmlessness and cuteness would have been a nice surprise by the middle/end.

Everything else was great. The reflection of the monster with Carlos in particular added big weight to the story.

Overall, this is a very good story!

The way this story is made makes it difficult to discuss without adding spoilers, so…

SPOILERS The story starts with a simple premise, then the Main Character dies because he ate toast instead of cereal. My first thought was "Oh, it's one of those where the puzzle is memorizing what is a correct answer"

Then after the reload the character remembers his last death, and I thought “Damn, now it’s turning into a time-loop thingy, nice!”

As the story goes on, the character keeps having bad endings, until I get the final choice right and I got the good ending.

Then I retried it because I wanted to see the last bad choice, and at this point the character realizes he’s in a game (nice!) until he breaks down and destroys everything (meta!).

The story, if you make all the “correct” choices is simple and cute. The meat of the story is in the dramatic “wrong” choices.

A very risky decision. If someone gets all the “correct” choices the first time they may assume that’s the story (unless you have a way to prevent that)

Still, a very interesting way to handle it.

I had fun with this one!

I really liked this story.

The clever use of shadows to allow for multiple characters with the same sprites also added a lot to the mood.

The writing is good and goes to the point so I was hooked.

I wish this was longer, because I got really invested and wanted to know more!

Overall, fantastic!

First, I must say the art is so pretty! The colors, the design. Very high quality art in general.

The characters were fun, and the romance was very sweet!

Even being outside the intended demographic, I enjoyed my time reading this. I assume that the time constraint was the main factor, but I would have liked even more little stories in between the time-skips.

Overall, it was pretty great!

I loved this story. I loved it so much I downloaded it after I finished playing it on browser. It needs to take space in my computer and I need to show it to people I know.

SPOILERS

The writing is fantastic. The change of points of view was such a good storytelling device, plus the clever use of music, sounds, and void. So good!

The characters were so interesting, I wanted to know more about them. Their struggles were understandable, believable, and at some points hit a little too close to home. You made me cry and good lord it was worth every tear.

The only issue I have, and it may be more of a me thing, is that the characters are into each other very quickly. It happens right after one saves the other from being run over, so it may be warranted.

Long story short, Loved it!

This story was short, but it was nicely written. I was also a bit sad that the story ended so soon, as I wanted to know more of the characters.

SPOILERS The title is very fitting, as this really is a day in the life of a character, hahaha.

I liked the way the story was written, as the character clearly has a very strong case of anxiety, showing how he doubted everything and was overthinking everything as well.

Now, I played the version without the bug-fixes, but as update mentions the story stays the same, I must say I was hoping to know more on why the main character has been so anxious in the past couple of years.

Maybe it is mentioned and I didn’t notice, (it can happen to me) but this leads to the only real issue I have which is how the story is more people talking about past events, instead of seeing them happen.

The use of the mini-map in the back was an interesting way to handle backgrounds and show the space the characters were at. Extra points for creativity.

Finally I want to mention that the character art is very cute!

Overall I liked reading this.

A story where online gay friends meet for the holidays. That’s cute!

SPOILERS

The pacing can feel slow at times and the stakes are low, which culminates in 2 endings depending if you decide to travel overseas, or stay with Hervé.

The romance with someone older and experienced who will treat you right is a fantasy many had as closeted baby gays, so I think I get where this comes from, hehe.

The other ending where he travels overseas, doesn’t have free time and can’t make lasting connections is a simple but sad thing that does happen.

While I liked how Sebastién’s life changes with this, I was a bit dissapointed that traveling overseas was mostly a bad ending, instead of just a different life.

The game ends a bit abruptly, but considering this is for a game jam, it’s understandable.

The art was pretty, and the hug CG was adorable.

All in all, soft and sweet!

I really liked this one, it even got me a bit teary-eyed

I'm not even entirely sure why. Maybe it was the theme, but it was really nice

A short story about elderly people playing bingo turns into an exploration of what it means to win

SPOILERS

I like the characters, the grumpy Bear full of regrets, and the mischievous Bird, also full of regrets but in a different way

Their characterization makes sense and it is fun to see them interact

Add to that the constant theme of Forget-me-not flowers being one of the only colored pieces in the art, the other being wedding rings. I loved that symbolism so much!

As others have said, the only issue I have is the textbox being such a solid color it blocks the view from important details in the art

Overall, a great read!

I like this story's premise, but it is also very strange to me.

SPOILERS

I like the start, where a character has a crush on someone, and gets a temporary job by their recommendation. Two birds, one stone. Nice!

Then their relationship escalates very quickly, and then the taste testing caused a transformation on the main character.

Having the choice for the transformation is nice, and the strawberry bear design is cute, but it is so strange. Particularly the cartoon transformation. Turning into a cartoon character and having cartoon powers switched the mood so hard. The blanket transformation was the one that kept the mood the most, and added extra story, so it's the one I liked the most.

All in all, an interesting read.

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First of all, the art style of this project is really good! The color, the rough brushstrokes, beautiful.

The premise of the story is interesting, a post-apocalyptic world with Fungus parasites. Cool!

SPOILERS

The teenager's dialogue confuses me a bit, because she sounds very mature at some points, and at others she doesn't.

It also makes me wonder about the time frame, because it feels like it's been a while since the apocalypse started, and yet a teenager remembers pre-apocalypse stuff.

This also makes me wonder how long she's been living on her own in the city if it is infected and in ruins.

All in all, great potential if some rough edges are polished.

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The production of this is fantastic. The little animations, the zoom on the backgrounds for setting, the magnifying glass for the bee. Lovely

The only issue I have with the UI, (and it is an issue of taste more than anything) is the honey-comb buttons line-art looks bold and smooth, and it clashes with the character's rough line-art.

The TV segments that add backstory and flavor to the world are neat, and the reveal due to it is interesting. It's a shame there wasn't more time, because the story was just starting when it ended

All in all, excellent entry. I wanna know what happens next!

You hit the nail on the head in so many of the points, I gotta add to it.

The double outline was certainly "a choice", probably the wrong one.

I wanted the narration in the center, and didn't want to darken the background so the pictures were visible.
One outline didn't look right for me, as it would blend with the pictures, and transparent ones created these weird artifacts.
Also, thicker outlines were out of the question, because of the way Renpy Renders text.

This is a thing I spent a lot of time testing, and in the end I chose the double-outline as a short-sighted compromise.


I will change this i an update.

The center text for the main character's thoughts was important to me, because I wanted to make it clear when something is actually being heard vs when it is only thought or described.
Kinda like the way they do it in the 999 DS version, where narration is in one screen, and dialogue is in the other.


Of course, here they benefited from having two screens, and the narration's background wasn't important so it could be obscured.
Different case, but it explains the intention.

The missing ending period was a deliberate choice, 100% a wrong one.
When I started writing I DID have a period at the end of every sentence, but I thought it looked weird with the red arrow, and thought it could replace it.
I also added them when a character would stop speaking and a different character would start speaking.
 


This choice was unfortunately not the correct one, and I may have missed some.
I'm adding the periods in an update.

***

You got me on the story.

As it is pretty rare, cases of double connections are even rarer, but not impossible.

So I had two options here:
1- There were no records of a second string ever happening before.
2- There were records of it happening, but it happened long ago and/or in secluded areas so it is considered a myth.

Either way would be a news-worthy event.

Since Nadir is from a different city, the general public doesn't necessarily know he had a connection before, so the only ones in the know would be him and Roberto. And with Roberto not liking the general idea of the Red string and him being very private, the only ones who could make it public would be Nadir, Amira, and potentially people who have known him and recognized him in the video.

However, exploring this would have made the story considerably longer and when I got to this point I was on the last days of writing. So I did not address it.

The idea of the red string is that it connects people in a visible way, and people gave it their own interpretation. And I made it so it is handled the way the Catholic  marriage is handled.
With regular marriage you can get divorced.
With Catholic marriage it is handled as a union by God and is unbreakable, so divorce is not allowed (annulment is possible under very specific circumstances, but that's another story).

Because it was based on this, the general population has an idealization of the red-string, such that bad cases are not usually reported, like bad marriages that stay together to keep appearances.

Or so was my mental justification, which was not necessarily implied in the story. My bad


As for Nadir, you are correct.

He did not love-LOVE his fiancée, and he doesn't love-LOVE Roberto (not yet at least).
That sounds harsher than it is, but it was the intention.

Since the first connection happened when he was very young, he went with the regular expectations. And since it kinda worked out for him, he had no reason to believe it was fake if confronted by potential people who did not believe so.
He did not choose his fiancée and she did not choose him. But they did get along, and grew to care for each other. But they weren't IN LOVE.
They were expected to be together, and they didn't have a reason not to.
The whole red-thread idealization.

The separation was a kinda-attempt for each to live their lives a bit before getting together. And the loss did hurt him, because he did care for her.

A big part of the depression is meant to come not only from the loss, but from the prospect of losing their only "TRUE" connection (The one-true-soulmate belief)

For all of the above, it is hard for him to understand that someone who also has the connection rejects it.

In the end, many of these things probably did not make it to the final script. Either because my time ran out, they weren't implied clearly, or weren't there at all and I thought they were because they're in my head (hehe)

Thank you so much for your review!

I really liked this one!
Excellent premise and execution!

SPOILERS BELOW

The character dialogue is great, the characters make sense and the story flow has a good pace.

The puzzle is implemented nicely with the story, adding to the urgency.

The only issue (that may not actually be an issue) would be the exposition near the end, where Everest explains the whole backstory, and then the main villain also explains his plans and then everything gets resolved.

This part felt a bit cartoony to me, but if that was the intended vibe of the game then I just took the beginning too seriously.

Overall, it was pretty great!

This one's good!

SPOILERS BELOW

A time-loop horror story about a demonic possession handled by the reader. VERY nice!

The writing is pretty good, the characters make sense, the jokes were good, the lose of self-control of the main character was disturbing.

All in all, great execution!

Honestly, if this had a tiny bit of extra polishing and had custom music and art it would be perfect.

The premise of this story is pretty good

SPOILERS BELOW

A town seemingly stuck in time for decades, with barely any visitors and access to technology.

A mystery town which may or may not bend time, nice!

I particularly liked the start with its flowery style of writing and descriptions.

However, it felt weird to get this fancy speech from all the characters, and eventually it got a bit tiring.

The characters' reactions was also weird, like the public undressing first acted as normal and then as indecent.

Maybe that's part of the town's influence, like a supernatural effect

Overall, it was good read, and the premise is really interesting!

The way this story starts is pretty good, but feels rushed and incomplete by the end.

SPOILERS BELOW

The premise is good!
Someone finds pictures of a childhood friend, and reminisces of their friendship and falling off.

The writing in the first memory is the best part.
A story of two children who like doing things together. Their dialogue feels natural, and the pacing is good!

The last memory feels rushed, the way the children talk feels off.
For example, Victor mentioning a company by name and mentions an accident about it, and then drops it.
Then their argument feels like it comes too fast.

And then it just ends. Like I feel there was something intended to be added here, but it was cut.

So in general, the start is good, and the general idea of the story works. But I feel this suffered from the time limit.
I believe some extra polishing would improve the story

This was a short but interesting read.

SPOILERS BELOW

It starts with a backstory scene on abuse, and the rest of the story is a sexual scene which seems to address this backstory.
Brains are weird, and some fetishes come from trauma.
That's very interesting!

This feels like an exploration of this development, and honestly would've loved a longer and more thorough exploration of these characters' interaction and emotions.

In summary, a good premise that with deeper exploration and polishing would be enhanced!

This story is well written, and has a very good characterization of an awkward/shy main character. But it is very weird.

SPOILERS BELOW

It handles topics that would usually be heavy in a lighthearted and silly way, and everything gets solved with no effort.

I also have to accept that this is a weird reality where a whole lot of things are different.
Prison is basically a high-end hotel, people can travel in dragons, drugs have magical/physical effects, and apples are illegal.
Maybe everything is a metaphor.

Either way, if it had more time to cook and establish all this weirdness, and the conflict wasn't solved so easily and quickly, this prison break story would be enhanced, in my opinion

This story is (to my understanding) a prequel to a different story.

The origin of a new village which is close to an abandoned one with a disturbing past sounds really good!

The heavy use of advertisement to other stories got a chuckle out of me a couple of times, haha.

Also, the use of modified pictures to create a scene was honestly clever and beautiful.

SPOILERS BELOW

An issue for me is how everything is told to us.
The Main Character's backstory is narrated and the cast is also presented one after the other, but everything is told directly.

If this was presented in a more organic way, where we get to meet each character one at a time, and see how they interact between each other, it would help a lot with immersion and presentation.

This also happens with the abandoned Kirba village. We are only told about it, instead of it being presented as part of the story.

Maybe these things happened because of the time-limit, but in my opinion these points would enhance the story.

Overall, this has potential for a very good mystery or drama story

Oh boy, I did not understand this one.
If the point of this is being surreal, it works.

What the characters say feels off, the weight they put on things doesn't make sense.

The choices they give you seem to have a theme:
Go with what they tell you, or defy it.
Unfortunately the game is incomplete or bugged and you don't get very far after the choices, so I don't know if my reading of the theme is correct. 
Maybe the point is that the choices don't matter.

Again, I did not get it.

The art is really good though, loved the character designs and the backgrounds!

This one is interesting!

The plot ideas are good, but it needs work on the execution.
I'll give you some notes if you want to take them

SPOILERS BELOW

A trans bear character, and a shapeshifting goo-thing with a mysterious past who get in a romantic/sexual relationship.
That sounds great!

However, the story is missing many points.
Why does the bear have the goo?
Where did he got it from?
Why does he have a lab-coat thingy if he works in retail?
Why does the goo know so many advanced concepts?
We barely know anything of the characters.

All these points don't need to be answered, but them being implied or having a plausible reason would help the story a lot.
Adding this information could also improve the pacing of the story.

Political issues are mentioned, but not really addressed.
It would have been better if these were only implied in this case.
Otherwise, it may be better to explain or imply why these political issues are issues, and why it creates a reaction.

The sexual scene is awkward as it doesn't fall in either a graphic or vague scene.
It can be made graphic by adding a lot of descriptions of touch, sensations, and movement.
It can be made vague by only mentioning that it happened, and the feeling it caused.
Both can be enhanced with a picture, but it is not necessary

In summary. The story has potential! It just needs adjustments and polishing to truly shine

Points I can give to this are:

1- Great start! The writing gave me a somber mood, and the little effect of blurriness is really neat

2- Cute sprites! The notebook hand-drawn style gives it a nice identity.

I think this has potential! Just a little too short for a proper review