On Sale: GamesAssetsToolsTabletopComics
Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
SalesBundles
Jobs
Tags

Need feedback for my Super Mario 64-like game concepts and plot

A topic by G-Rex_S created Aug 23, 2023 Views: 193 Replies: 9
Viewing posts 1 to 4

Hello everyone! I'm working on a 3D platformer game, it's a fast paced game similar to Super Mario 64.

It's a game where the main character is an anthropomorphic rabbit who explores islands, but he has special shoes that can make him turbo fast, so if you're more interested, check it out here!

I worked on this game for a year, doing code, modeling, creating level, sound effect, animation... pretty much everything. My game is actually working pretty well, the way I dreamed it would be.

I just need a story/concept to get the green light, I need some feedback from you on my game, so please if you all are interested in my game, give me some of your interests and thoughts on my game!

(+1)

I'm liking this game idea! All of your designs and models look very nice and fitting to the style.

I will literally sit here all day if you ask me to make a story behind Turbo Rabbit, there are so many ideas. You can ask yourself: Why do the islands have gems? Where did they come from? What are the consequences of taking these gems from these islands? Why does Michael have turbo shoes? Did he make them? Did he find them? Was he born with them? Did someone give them to him?

What about the monsters? How did they get to the islands? Why are they there? Why do they hurt Michael? Are they evil? Are they guarding the gems? 

I could go on, but you get the point. Asking yourself questions and coming up with answers can help you come up with a story!

(2 edits)

Thank you for your feedback. Thank you so much for giving my game the green light!

I appreciate your offer to help, I might need someone to work on my story, but it would work if I had a big team, so I'll check back with you later.

Also, I'm glad someone really understands the story and plot of Turbo Rabbit, so I'd be happy to answer your questions:

  • - The gems are the property of the island, It is not known where they came from
  • -The gems don't have any effect on Michael, butit would affect part of the island if they were taken off the island
  • -The turbo shoes were given by a professor who is also a research expert and is much a scientist
  • -Monsters live and rule the islands, are the guardians of the gems and are very protective of their crystals. They are evil because how they are created

I'm glad this gives much information!

(+1)

I really like everything you've made! You're very talented!   

It looks like what a game combining Mario and Sonic would feel like.

Very thanks!

(+1)

Sounds like basic setup for a game. But it's good thing cause it makes story creation easier.

You can have main story either:

A. Michael is tasked by superior being to collect the gems for good purpose. However everytime Michael is about to take a gem, a mysterious voice warns him not to. Michael ignored the voice and resume the collection. After all gems are collected, the being used the gems to bring back his lost power and regain his status as evil emperor of the world. It turns out the gems were his source of power which were taken from him to weaken him and seal him 1000 years ago (cliche).

or

B. An evil group is collecting the gems for their evil purpose. Michael thinks that the best way to stop them is to collect the gems earlier than them. This strategy works except the general of the group realized this and steal all the gems after Michael collected all gems. Michael has to go to their base to get them back.

Which one do you like?

I'm aware those two stories are pretty cliche but we could add twists later if needed ;).

(+1)

Basic twist for A:

The "superior being" is manipulating Michael and is actually the real bad guy, and the "evil emperor" was trying to warn Michael about them the whole time, he was sealed 1000 ago by the being (they can be siblings or something, and the 6 gems/6 islands can be some kind of symbol of their relationship). Maybe Michael is their son who can also use the power of the gems (I'm imagining two supreme rabbit parents lol)

Similar twist for B:

The "evil group" that collects for an "evil purpose" is only "evil" in Michael's eyes; He is the only bad one, while every one else is trying to keep him from obtaining the gems. The aforementioned group is an activist group that has tried to stop his reign of terror for generations, which would be carried on by collecting the gems (gems are like 6 of the 7 deadly sins, and Michael can be greed or something). Maybe the professor can be the one you feel bad for. They raised Michael and only wanted him to be happy, but being truly evil is what makes him happy?

I would like to pick the A. story (also counting on @Wasabi's A. story), it answers a lot of what I thought the Turbo Rabbit story would be, so much originality, well told, and it is also very similiar to my own Turbo Rabbit story.

This is a great idea making Michael feel like he doesn't know he is doing bad things, but continues to do it

Also, loving the idea for the gems trying to warn Michael for collecting them. But, my original idea for the gems is that the gems don't have any power on them, they won't affect Michael to collect them, but instead they will affect the island and the island's monsters, the monsters will go crazy if they realize the gem was stolen.

Gems will be only used to open the Big Door that would lead Michael to the biggest treasure, but that treasure is the most powerful thing that the "superior being" would push Michael away to grab it first. That's my finale story for Turbo Rabbit.

But, your story ideas are cool, so idk should I just take parts of yours or should I go for your story?

(+1)

You may be asked for credit if you take the whole story, or maybe special inspiration for taking parts of it. Do whatever feels right, and don't forget to exercise your own creativity! 

I will immediately sign people on the sheet for those who helped me, I'll gladly credit you all!