Yobob, I really like your game! The graphics are cool, the gameplay is simple but efficient and the story keeps me interested until the end of the demo and I wish to see how it ends! Good work!!! 5/5 for me

Presentation:

The artwork in this game was a really beautiful Steampunk/Dystopian style that I truly enjoyed fully through my playthrough. The music was very fitting as well as the sound effects. The menu however had some clashing styles that I found rather distaste full as well as the HP hud bar was quite annoying at times.

Overall in my opinion  16/20

Gameplay:

The battle system in its current state is rather un engaging and boring. I feel that with a bit more content added it could however be a ton of fun.  The act of getting the iron ore felt confusing. Why wasn't there an animation of a pickaxe clanking against the stone? It felt like I was just stealing other miners ore.

Overall in my opinion 10/20

Engagement: 

The story was relatively engaging however you did you some crutches and some of it seemed forced. As well as having some better NPC dialouge would be nicer. The battles however were completely un engaging and I found myself just aimlessly repeating the same loop of moves.

Overall in my opinion 8/20

Potential: 

This game has a ton of potential. The worl that you made right from the beginning was interesting and grabbed a hold on me. With some more polish your game could be fantastic!

Overall in my opinion 18/20 (Best score so doubled to 36)

Total: 70 /100 (3 stars.)

This game was fantastic. While there are some major issues that need to be addressed, I think this game has a ton of potential and with amazing artstyle it should succeed in a commercial marketplace.

My full video review:

Here is my review.  I'll do the best I can. I am not a judge. So do not worry

Presentation:

I really like the graphics, and the artwork is very nice. The idea is very creative. The menu layout is nice. It would be nice to have more to do besides going to work every day. The music fits well.

Overall in my opinion  18/20

Gameplay:

I'm going to be honest.  I don't like the battle system in this game.  It's hard to attack when you need to recover.  The quest system is good. I like it that you point out where the ore, and stuff is. I highly recommend a different battle system, because I got stuck on Valentia. I couldn't defeat her no matter what I did. So I had no choice but to give up.

Overall in my opinion 13/20

Engagement: 

This game was a lot of fun other than getting stuck on Valentia, and having to give up. I would ahve liked to get farther to see more of it. So overall the engagement is the best part.

Overall in my opinion 20/20

Potential: 

This a ton of potential I want to see it made into a full game. The world is interesting.

Overall in my opinion 20/20

Final Thoughts, and suggestions:

I honestly disliked the battle system the most. I think that should be changed. Other than that everything else is good. Keep up the good work, and please do not give up.

The dev already knows this. But eh. I'm just gonna slip this in. 

My first impression of this game were wonderful, I truly enjoy the aesthetic, it feels and looks like a mining ghetto. The graphics are impressive, and I enjoyed the little things, such as the electricity. I did notice a few things that kind of detracted from this, however, such as the abrupt change in sprites when pulling out a gun or being shot, but those are small details.

The story and dialogue is just far to on the nose and really shoves the point home, kind of hard to swallow. A bit more subtlety and nuance would go a long way in crafting this emotional journey you are trying so hard to craft.

I was given armor randomly, who gives away anything when they are struggling so hard to survive? In addition this armor is useless, the vest I found earlier provided more HP and less defense, and from what I can tell defense has no purpose in the scripted events that are 'combat'.

I also had issue with the 'combat' this game provides, it felt very visual novel and less rpg and really detracted from what could have been a tense moment.

I made it to the fight with Valentina, and just let myself die trying to reason with her. Honestly would have died anyway, the amount of damage I did versus what she was doing was just pathetic.  Despite how much visual appeal and potential story this game had, I just could not get into it. I think if you made it feel more engaging, it would go a long way in telling the story you are trying to get across.

This is the third game that has given me this message: "Your profile can not be used because it is from a newer version of NW.js. Some features may be unavailable. Please specify a different profile directory or use a newer version of NW.js." I don't know if it's important or not.

The lack of direction in this game is a constant annoyance. After the mention to get the watch, there's no indication of what the player character is supposed to be doing until after wandering for a while. Then it happens again after clocking in (at an unmarked building). Then it happens again after the fight scene (with clocking out not being an option?). Your character is trying to obedient through all this, so why is he wandering around talking to people to find out what the guards expect him to do next? It wouldn't be a problem if there were more variety in the town or characters to talk to, but instead the town has mostly the same workers buildings all over. I got fed up and quit after I tried having him go back home and sleep, only to find no meaningful response. I don't see what else there is to do, nor what the player character would even want to do.

I just played it and I really enjoyed it^^ It caught my attention because of the steampunk feeling. Seeing the dark atmosphere of the maps I guessed it would be a darker story, but I was still a little surprised how dark XD

Anyway, the art is great and the story is interesting, too. Collecting the iron went fast, so it couldn't get too repetetive. The twist with the magic was great. I never expected it XD
Though I think the battle mechanic could be a little more polished. I like it that you have to think carefully about what you do next, but it feels a little underwhelming right now.

In conclusion, once it's a little more polished, I'd love to play it again^^ The story got me hooked XD

Rating using the Judge categories, just for fun

Gameplay

This game is more about the story and world than it is about the gameplay. However, the battles were made in a really unique way that I could see getting expanded greatly in the future

I wasn't a fan of the controls. Never liked Enter and Esc as confirmation and back keys.

It was a little difficult to see the exit of the mine at first. Specially when the game teleported you to a different section for a cutscene. The interactable objects in general need more visual indication of their existence, like how the mining spots shine

The game flow was mostly good, but after being attacked by the 3 guards, I felt confused as to where to go and got lost for a while

Overall a great gameplay experience, even for a story focused game

[16/20]

Presentation

Stellar. The game got me invested in its environment, story and characters in no time. The hopelessness theme could get heavy handed at times, but it still made a big impact.

The story was interesting and kept the intrigue to the very end, although there were some pacing issues when miners who were totally hopeless and scared on day 1 were suddenly super optimistic the next day. Conversely, the incredible sense of despair after the failed revolution was very well conveyed. I just think the transition from hopelessness to optimism could have been more gradual

Music fit the theme like a glove and was nice overall. Sound effects did a good job

Characters were good for the most part, albeit kind of repetitive in their themes. Also, it was strange how only the main character and another character near the end had portraits. They almost felt a little out of place

[18/20] -> Doubled to 36

Engagement

The world and narrative kept me going. I wanted to see where everything was going. The battle system also complemented the storytelling greatly, so it just gave me more reason to reach the end. A little bit of guidance is needed to keep less attentive players going however

[16/20]

Potential

The world you painted here was really interesting, and the battle mechanic is both original and very fitting to the kind of experience I think you were going for. This can certainly stand out as a full indie game with the full story completed. Certainly not for everyone however

[17/20]

Total: 85/100 (5 Stars)

I would like more options in the game and less scripted moments. The atmosphere of the game is impressive.

Heya! I got this game as one of my Secret Santa reviews. I like to take notes and write down my thoughts as I play through so as to provide "real time" feedback. Here it goes:

Digging the main menu music, a nice little piano piece.

The tutorial type screen is interesting, get an interesting vibe from it.

Alright, game is starting…

Interesting visuals! I like the look of the character. The interior map is pretty small but it works.

I like the subtle way of directing the player towards what they need to do: “where’s my pickaxe?” – I know I need to find my pickaxe, which shouldn’t be too hard in this small area. This lets me get oriented in the game easily.

And that’s as helpful as any of it is lol – after getting the watch, there is no further direction. I guess I will just head out the door!

I like the sprites and the artwork in the city map. I like the flowing electricity through the powerlines as well, nice touch. Same with the steam and the water drops.

Goddamn Tax Inspectors… is there any world where they are not reviled?

I would say this scene with the tax collector is a bit on the nose. I mean, it screams “look, this is a real bad guy here!” but people only talk that way in bad movies.

Took me a moment to realize that I now had control of my character. Some sort of prompt for the player here would be good to let them know that they are in control, and that their character isn’t in the center of the screen. I literally thought this was a cut-scene because the dude with the pickaxe wandering around the center of the screen looks a lot like the main character.

Hah, I can break into my neighbor’s room and steal their stuff. That’s always fun.

The Newspaper is also very on the nose, screaming ‘our ruler is a bag of asses.’

I stole money right in front of that woman in room 436. She didn’t even say anything. Times must be bad.

Poor lady in room 331. She says she has no money to fix up the place. I just took her last 5 Kel. Who is the real villain here? The obviously evil ruler and his heinous tax collectors? Or me, so eager and willing to take money from these poor people? There should maybe be an option to give the money back.

Speaking to the resident who is asking me to tell her she’s not a bad person… Again, very on the nose. I get it, that she’s shook, but this seems like par for the course for the mining ghetto. I feel like taking a cue from Schindler’s List, The Pianist, or something involving the Nazis and the Warsaw ghetto could really help make the dialogue and the characters feel more believable in this situation. Anything from real life where an occupying force forces the residents to live in a state of oppressed poverty.

After talking to most of the residents, I will double-down on what I just said. The dialogue feels very obvious and isn’t really how people in such dire and traumatic circumstances talk, especially when the situation has been ongoing for some time, which seems to be the case here. It doesn’t really reflect parallels in reality, and it just feels like it is trying WAY too hard to convey “hey, this isn’t such a great place.” Subtlety and nuance will always take you further than exposition.

I found a Tattered Ring in room 332… Can a metal ring “tatter”? The description says it is rusted… Maybe call it a Rusty Ring?

When I think about it, after the guy gave me the key to his room… why would the powers-that-be, who obviously treat these people “like objects” and feel they are so far beneath them allow any of them to have locking doors? Stripping away their privacy and ability to keep others out (including potentially the authorities) would further dehumanize them AND make the tax collector’s work easier.

Talked to the guy who says “Makes you wonder if killing is alright” – Really? I mean, I was getting used to the on the nose, overly obvious dialogue before, but this just comes right out and asks the question in a very uninteresting way. I will reiterate: subtly and nuance. You should be focusing on having the player come up with the question as to whether or not there is a moral basis for the killing instead of spoon-feeding it to them. I am not sure you intended it, but earlier when I was taking money that I found randomly (as one is wont to do in these games) I stopped and asked myself if this was a good thing to do, morally/ethically. The game didn’t have someone say “is stealing wrong?!” – no, instead it put me in a situation where I found myself questioning my own actions without anyone needing to say anything about it. THAT is subtlety, and it is a wonderful thing. The game This War of Mine does this well.

Ok, all clocked in and ready to mine that sweet, sweet ore for Dear Leader!

I really like the artwork in the mines! The background sounds are well-done also, the pickaxes and breaking rocks and all that. Very nice.

Talking to Valentina… A firebrand that one, likely to cause trouble and rock the boat. Wouldn’t be surprised if she is under surveillance by the state.

Also, why don’t more people commit suicide in order to ‘escape’ from these conditions?

This dialogue is just so…  obvious to the point of sapping enjoyment out of its consumption.  All of these people are so afraid of talking 'this way' because it will get them killed, yet that doesn't stop any of them from talking often and loudly about it right in front of the guard.

Also, I entered the map with Valentina from the left-side of the screen. Why does my guy appear on the left-side of the following map?

Ok so I got all of the ore, all 19 of them. The game won’t let me leave the mine. It keeps saying I need to collect 10 ore before I can leave. But I have more than that… Wut?

Ah, ok, stumbled upon where I needed to go. I didn’t even see that door near the guard. Maybe make it a bit more obvious that this is a place you need to go? Maybe a sign or something indicating this is a place you can enter?

Outside of the mine now… now the guards confront the poor miner guy they just grifted.

The music in this scene might be a bit much. But then again, so is the dialogue. Sometimes the absence of something is more powerful. In this case, music and a portion of the dialogue.

This all brings up another question – why have currency and money at all in this work ghetto? The authorities obviously have the physical power to force the population to do what they want, so why not just provide the people with the bare necessities to sustain a meager life so they can keep on working and leave it at that? Again, this is a parallel to how Nazi-occupied ghettos were run. You worked all day, you got a tiny amount of food. That was the way it worked. Any currency or luxury type items were forcibly taken from the population (it was the very first thing that happened). You could easily remove currency from this population and just replace it with some cheap and basic food item, like potatoes or something.

This dialogue just goes on and on and it all says the same thing: ‘the guard is a bad guy’.

Ok, combat time! Interesting way to go about it. I’d remove the miner’s dialogue during combat, it is not necessary and only detracts from the situation. It is pretty obvious that it’s “not personal”, no need for him to spell it out. Also, maybe give an option to the player to not take action and let the miner win? Could result in a game over or whatever, but would be an interesting choice to present to the player instead of just forcing them to take action.

The transition from the fight to the post-fight scene is rather abrupt and jarring. A slower fade out/in would have smoothed that transition nicely.

Time to pay my debt… the character gives a different number than he had been giving. He says 385 now instead of 434 or whatever it was.

Walked into the building where you clock in for work. Why did the guard give me armor? I would think any form of weapon/armor would be forbidden for the population to have under such an occupation.

The homeless guy robbed me of 10 kel, but it doesn’t really give me any option to resist against that. The only option comes before that, whether or not I should beat up the homeless person BEFORE I even know he is a dickbag.

Vendor on the street peddling potions and alcohol. Again, I would think that the occupying forces would not allow for this because 1.) it allows the population to have its own commerce and money, and 2.) intoxicated workers are poor workers. Being systematically abusive and sometimes killing workers serves a purpose to keep everyone else in line, but letting them get drunk is just disorderly. Not to mention that any occupying force will want the population to be reliant on only the occupiers for all sources of comfort, food, etc, to create a system of dependency.

Ok, that is the end of Day 1. Let’s see what fresh hell Day 2 brings.

So the whole tax inspector rapist murderer thing is even MORE obvious and in-your-face. It’s not as interesting when this is spoon fed. The scene would have 10x the impact if you cut waaaaay back on the forced dialogue.

I can’t take the dialogue with Valentina. I am going to call it quits here, put in quite a bit of time into the game at this point, not sure how long it is.

Final Thoughts:

So my first impression is made by the art and music, both of which are great! I really enjoyed the custom graphics, the characters, all of it. Visually, everything pulls together consistently and paints a picture of a bleak dystopia. The music helps underscore this. It works very well. There are a lot of interesting animations on each map that help each area feel alive. I am particularly fond of the flowing electricity.

The story, in broad strokes, seems like a decent one. I am not entirely sure where it's all going, but the world feels consistent. It feels like a world. The atmosphere is fantastic, and there are some things I was left wondering about, such as what is the thing that was eating the bodies at the bottom of one of the holes? I also found myself wondering about things like the Inner City and the ruler, and pondering the background of what is going on in general - who are these people, why did they choose this place, these people, to lord their regime over? I am not saying you need to spell any of this out, these were just fun questions that made my brain move, and that is a good thing.

What I did not particularly enjoy was much of the dialogue. Honestly, that is really the only part of the game I have a gripe with. There are a lot of NPC characters to speak to, but they all have the same exact 'voice' - woe is me, when will this end? What did we do to deserve this? Why is this happening to us? over and over, ad nauseum. The guards and tax guy are not any better, just with a different gear shift - hahaha we are your rulers, you do what we say or we kill you. It's not very stimulating to read, nor is it particularly believable. Actions always speak louder than words, and I feel a number of scenes would have had way more impact if you cut out the dialogue and just let the actions unfold for the player to witness. Let the player come up with their own conclusions about the morality and ethics of the situation, don't spoon feed it to them.

Overall though, the world in which this story takes place feels like a well thought-out one. It's bleak, it's oppressive, it's violent. But, sometimes, that is what life is.

Overall, I say good job! I really feel with a bit of spit shine and polish to the dialogue, this game could be superb.

So I'm just going to do what I typically do for reviews and post a reaction as I play then a nice little summary at the end!

So first off this music and art is absolutely breathtaking. What an incredible style, and that cutscene hit hard. I love that I can still go through houses for stuff, it pleases my inner child tremendously. A small...not bug really but if I try to talk to the woman by turning left at the stairs it mistakenly takes me up the stairs. Not a big deal as I can walk around and do it, but a funny little quirk I noticed. The sheer amount of hidden items is awesome. I'm happy I take the time to talk to everyone otherwise I may have missed the quest! Man this game is hitting me in my feelings, small note, his miner number changes.

Another bug with the mines, say I picked up the extra 7 from the first day, then sold them and picked some more. He'll say he has 10 ore when he only has 5. Also I have no idea where to sell this extra loot im finding.

That ending!!! I'm so interested in a potential sequel!! It may be a bit mature for this contest, but if that's not an issue you definitely beat mine!!

Shame that not too many people have played this! What an incredible game!