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Ocean Daydream's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Theme | #7 | 3.438 | 3.438 |
| Narration | #10 | 3.625 | 3.625 |
| Originality | #11 | 3.688 | 3.688 |
| Overall | #17 | 3.313 | 3.313 |
Ranked from 16 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Hello fellow space game! :) I liked your setting a bunch, especially the greenhouse. The visual of plants in no gravity getting twined together was so vivid. I also really enjoyed the otherworldly character's speech mannerisms and how they connected with Tsumugi. Nice work!
-Anna
I have a special place in my heart for that specific setup! I've been wanting to draw an illustration haha Than you! I'm glad you liked it
this was lovely. not only was the story interesting and well told, but the choices enabled real roleplay (although to be honest i can't imagine another tsumugi not doing *exactly* what i did).
the "ocean entity" had such a fun way of speaking, and i particularly loved: "Well... I might not be when you are right now soon, but I wanted to let you know I was now." so much character and info given through word and tense choice without feeling goofy.
i imagine the final letter changes depending on your choices, which is a very clever finale. really good!
I'm so happy you think that way, it's so cool to witness other people understanding a character I created! to be honest I also thought "Tsumugi would do this and not this" when writing some alternative storylines but I find interesting how the same character can change according to a moody day maybe. Thank you so much for your kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed.
I don't want to be offensive and say English clearly isn't the first language here when that might not be the case at all, but that's what it seems like, so I'm completely ignoring the grammatical issues. I think the story is still more than understandable and it's a fun ride. I saw in the comments that you got all this work done in just a day??? That's really impressive, you got a LOT done in a really short amount of time, even shorter than many of us had to work on our games. Your dialogue feels pretty natural, and the story seems to go along pretty smoothly. Also, I really love your thumbnail pic! I'm assuming it's yours, and if you end up illustrating your story with art like that then it'll only make it better, even though I still think this is a solid piece even without any illustrations.
My only request? Please make the window a little bigger! I have no idea how many people don't read stuff in full screen, but I'm one of those people, and you've got tons of room on the page to open up the readable area! You don't have to make it bigger of course, it's just a personal thing!
Overall, good job :D
Hello! Than you for your insight! I'm really happy you enjoyed. Yep, the thumbnail is an illustration I've done! I enjoy illustrating specific moments from my stories while I'm still figuring the details out. About your request I agree! but to be honest idk how to do that lol I actually uploaded the folder with the html and resources (expecting people would need to deploy locally, and maybe in the future I would just put that on my website) and Itch.io did that all by itself, I was actually surprised, I gasped haha I didn't know the platform was able to do that. I will try to look for more information on how to make it bigger for future projects.
That's some really great stuff, thanks for sharing. I really enjoy monochromatic works, especially with black and white. The sketchy feel is pretty nice to look at!
Also for expanding the window, if your project is set to embed in the page (it looks like it is) then you manually set the size to whatever you want. I have it set to 900 x 600 for my stuff because I like seeing the borders around my window, but you can set it to whatever you want really. These options are in the "Edit game" tab, right under the upload. That's how you change it for any embedded games :D
Thank you for the tip! wow it was easier than expected hahaha
I really liked the rhythm and flow of the story. Well done!
Thank you!
The route I took was a really nice story, wistful and pensive. I think it really worked nicely with the space/tech backdrop. I wasn't sure if the stats that were in brackets (eg. [+1 laugh against adversity]) were meant to be diegetic or nondiegetic (ie. ink code), so I was a little confused how that might play into the mystery. In my second playthrough I made different choices, which gave me an ok run, but I wonder if there's a way to strengthen some of the choice outcomes, like if I choose not to dwell on the anomaly, is there maybe a stronger sense she left something behind, or does the anomaly/alien reattempt to connect, etc. In any case it's a lovely little journey, thank you.
Oh hey! I'm glad you found it enjoyable. I do feel the same about the alternative endings, as if there's something left behind, and this is totally due to the timing (since out of the 72 hr available I just had one day free to work on this) and I do want to make more significant alternate endings in the future, or at least more detailed! I sort of feel the presented version as a sketch! The stats in the brackets were intended like that, you see I'm a role-playing fan and when I play with my friends the master is always making these stat-surprises up out of the blue, and that is the notation I use in my notebook for them :) I kind of feel comfortable with that (although I see how it might be confusing without the context haha)
Anyway thank you for your insightful analysis!
I enjoyed it. I like how it has a sort of folkloric/fantasy element to it in an otherwise very grounded sci-fi setting. Not really magical realism, but sort of in that ballpark. Very cute. I noticed that at least some of the modifiers (e.g. "+1 temper") had noticeable effects on the narration and outcomes. Even though one ending is obviously the intended one, the others didn't necessarily feel like "bad endings," which is nice. A solid entry overall.
I'm happy about the sci-fi classification you chose, since I was totally going for that sort of vibe.
I don't believe any of the endings are inherently "negative" yet of course I feel drawn towards one of them in particular haha, but that's a personal feeling. Thank you for taking time into reviewing and testing my game!!
For a moment in the beginning there it felt like I was fighting the story by reading it - as mentioned by others, the language / grammar is in dire need of editing - but the story itself is quite beautiful, and it captures the theme excellently. I do encourage others to push through, despite the language. By the end, I got into a kind of flow state with regards to the writing - it's beautiful in its own way :)
thank you for keeping up with the fight :) Thank you for your insight!
The narration and story concept is beautiful, if you manage to read through it by ignoring the obvious grammar issues (they are numerous). I get that English might not be your first language, but a bit more proofreading through free online tools, would have made the reading experience even more enjoyable.
On the plus side, the interactivity was off the charts, compared with some of the other games on this jam, which shouldn't come as a surprise considering the number of endings. The choices actually mattered, even though some of them only provided flavor text.
Thanks for the review! I do plan on improving it in the future, when I have more time, with at least some illustrations that will be useful for the player in order to choose one option or another. Nevertheless, thank you for your time! Iḿ glad you enjoyed the narrative despite the grammar issues
It's not really a problem of visuals to be honest. The storyline itself is perfect with its only flaw being the grammar. Either way, this game is my favourite entry on this game jam.
oh wow! thank you! glad to hear so