Play story
Pale and Broken's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Concepts & Originality | #9 | 4.000 | 4.000 |
| Flow & Clarity | #10 | 3.879 | 3.879 |
| Overall | #15 | 3.747 | 3.747 |
| Adherence to Theme | #31 | 3.364 | 3.364 |
Ranked from 33 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Almost perfect, great job
Oh my gosh, thank you!
fantastic and dark, love me some oaths of vengeance.
I'm super big into Faustian bargains so I figured I'd explore that theme as, you know, a Consequence! Thanks for reading.
I'm not personally a big fan of the edgy elf aesthetic... But my best friend is and he would have absolutely drooled over this story.
Hahaha! I appreciate the honesty! If your friend reads it you can let me know :D
solidly written and quit evocative, nice submission that suggests a greater story, I hope you get a chance to add to it in the future!
If I were to expand it, it would be a narrative campaign like Darkness Within that encourages use of the Ally rules and feature Human Empire + Chivalrous Kingdoms vs. War Disciples and Daemons of War. The War Disciples would be led by the protagonist here running a campaign of vengeance.
I also found this one to be a very engaging read; the gravity of the situation is portrayed quite convincingly. Great work!
Could you elaborate a bit on how the story is meant to fit into the OPR setting? I only read a small part of the faction lore pages so far, so some references may be eluding me.
So the main character is a disgraced Chivalrous Kingdoms noble whose territory was seized when the Rift opened and they declared independence from the Human Empire. She chose to turn to the Rift Demons for revenge, and, well...
Oh, I see! Is the entity she calls out to meant to be a specific Havoc God?
They're specifically an avatar of the War Gods whose big thing is the sadistic cruelty and inherent masochism of neverending war.
I enjoyed this one a lot - both the emotion and the technical skill on display make it one of the highlights of the jam for me! I did find myself wishing for a bit more framing detail; I think just a little more concrete information on the events that led our narrator to her current situation would have elevated the story and made the consequences hit that much harder. Nicely done!
Gosh thank you! It was highly stream of conscience so I agree that I could have afforded a few more details, but the gist is that essentially when the Rift opened and the Human Empire's holds on the Chivalrous Kingdoms' lands slipped, the narrator's property was taken by other nobles in a coup on easily-trumped-up heresy charges, and they were spared as a "mercy".
neat and tidy! Great read
This is cool