Play book
The Interrogation's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Concept & Originality | #19 | 3.710 | 3.778 |
| Adherence to the Theme | #27 | 3.237 | 3.296 |
| Overall | #30 | 3.140 | 3.198 |
| Flow & Clarity | #32 | 2.473 | 2.519 |
Ranked from 27 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
First person can often be tricky to write in and often requires a lot of proof reading and redrafts in order to have it flow right. I do think that this story suffered a tad from the short 48 writing period we had and thus could not get the attention of edits that it really wanted. This does not take away from the core of the story, which I actually really like.
If you do any edits or redrafts of this, I would very much like to read them!
thank you, I honestly think I had the time but relied too heavily in word rather than re-reading it. Next time I will have a better idea of time management.
I will be releasing a new draft and I am looking to extend the story also but could be a ways off yet.
Not my cup of tea. Not that the content was bad, I just don't enjoy reading the first-person narrative.
That being said, the story could use some extra care, especially toward the punctuation. Many sentences have more commas than necessary and could be broken into multiple sentences or use a semi-colon.
I'd love to see another draft of this, though. I think you have an exciting way with scenes.
thank you. I am planning a second draft after the Jam ends, your feedback will really help.
The transition threw me, but overall, very, very entertaining work.
thank you, for reading and leaving feedback. Which transition did you mean?
The very beginning when it switched from the interrogation to the backstory. Still a really good story though. I enjoyed it.
ah, cool. thanks for the feedback. I will try to make that clearer in my post Jam edit.
ahh...
took me a second to figure out the end
thanks for taking the time to read it. I hope it was the good kinda to taking a second to figure out, lol.
Great tension and mystery! Very intense imagery and descriptions; if there'd been more than one page, it would have been a page-turner for sure.
The biggest issue with the piece are all the technical errors---spelling, punctuation, capitalization, etc. It really needed a thorough editing pass or two (or more). I could ignore most of the issues, but some of them really took me out of the story and required me to stop and think about what you were trying to express (e.g. "is Volt catches me I'm dead", "Volt looked as you", "Volt wasxeasy to take", and "the figure snares").
Please keep writing! You have a wonderful way with describing intense scenes. But please also work on taking time to edit and polish. It'll make a huge difference!
Thanksfor reading and giving feedback. I fully intend on reworking this after and sharing it in on FB and Reddit. I also intend on fleshing it out more. I want to know what the black eyed creature was.
I was using word on my tablet. I don't know what it is but it's autocorrect really likes to mess with me. Think I'm gonna go back to grammerly
Great short story and a very interesting read. I enjoyed the flashback and the fact that the character changes throughout the story.
Great short story and a very interesting read. I enjoyed the flashback and the fact that the character changes throughout the story.
I enjoyed the flashback framing device, and you built a good picture of a convincing world. The story would benefit if you gave it another pass for grammar, but other than that, I liked it.
thanks you for reading and commenting. I agree about the grammar, I read back over it just after the jam finished and saw all the little errors.