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A jam submission

The GraftingView project page

In trying to defend his city from the Daemonic Marauders, King Sekeph has created a weapon of mass destruction
Submitted by Joakker (@joakker7) — 1 day, 1 hour before the deadline
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The Grafting's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Overall#143.7003.700
Adherence to the Theme#143.8503.850
Concept & Originality#163.8003.800
Flow & Clarity#233.4503.450

Ranked from 20 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted(+1)

this was an enjoyable story, albeit a bit short. I enjoyed the interpretation of how the pharoah viewed life after death, and the explanation of the creation of the undead construct.  As others have noted, it looks like you have space to bulk out the stkry to have additional dialogue, or more detail on the effect of the unconventional weapon.


Thanks for sharing this for the jam!

Submitted(+1)

love this concept, undead kingdoms are always the bad guys it is cool to see their perspective on conflict and how their leaders think!

Submitted(+1)

So I am, and always will be, a complete sucker for any story that portrays undeath as just a different way of being alive. I love the characterization of the undead king - living, burdened by his duties, separated from humanity by his state yet continuing to feel for his people. You do have a lot of wordcount left to play with, and a dialogue between, say, the king and his high priest, expanding on the description of the ritual, would be a great thing to add, and/or a little more description of the destruction caused by the weapon at the story's climax. But overall a well-done reflection on the costs of war when we unleash powerful weapons.

Submitted(+1)

very nice twist, the final sentence was great

Submitted(+1)

Love me some of the lore this is derived from! An interesting idea the OPR daemons ay react differently than the reference, definitely something more to explore there.

Submitted(+1)

Interesting concept, but a very abrupt ending... would benefit from a few more paragraphs expanding upon it and finishing the story "properly".

Submitted(+1)

That's a pretty good twist.