Play book
Desperate Times's itch.io pageResults
Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
Adherence to the Theme | #3 | 4.421 | 4.421 |
Overall | #9 | 4.088 | 4.088 |
Concept & Originality | #10 | 4.105 | 4.105 |
Flow & Clarity | #16 | 3.737 | 3.737 |
Ranked from 19 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Right on! Kill em with math! The power of numbers compels you!
And they said you'd never use math in the real world!
I very much enjoyed the description of the town. It's funny that you put so much description into the town and daemons but not so much the people... but a very fun story.
Thank you; I'm glad you appreciated the imagery. It didn't strike me as odd until you mentioned it that I'd described everything but the humans - partly that's a word count constraint thing, but I do have difficulty knowing how and when to smoothly insert descriptions of Our Heroes. I'll keep working on it!
a well written and extremely creative story! loved the description at the beginning
Thank you so much for the kind comment; I'm glad the description of the little town was something you enjoyed!
Quite original and with good writing! Deserves more story around the main character(s)!
Thank you very much - I'm glad the three of them made an impact in the short time they had to be around. :)
Loved it! The description of the change daemons and the "weapon" itself were both really creative.
Thank you very much for the kind comment. I appreciate it!
Nicely done. I enjoyed the juxtaposition of the first and last parts of the first paragraph - painting an idyllic scene and then tearing it down. The depictions of the change demons was also very well done and presented them as from a truly alien plane of existence. Looking forward to painting those up, and this story will definitely stick in my mind as I do so.
Thank you - I'm glad you appreciated the daemons. I wanted to make them true to the source but unique, depicted in a way they aren't usually.
This story was great! The pacing was well done to properly convey the conflict, the setting and characters were given the right amount of detail for a 1000 word story, and the unconventional weapon was clever and original. The almost Terry Pratchett-esque logic of a weapon to use against the daemon was not what I was expecting for the setting, and I love it all the more for that!
Like another reader said, the line "it moved like an animation with half its frames lifted out" stuck out as a really fun, effective description.
If I had to pick one part of the story that felt weak to me, at times the dialogue felt manufactured at times, instead of natural conversation between individuals. It could very well be a question of preference and it's honestly a minor point on an amazing piece of prose.
Bravo!
EDIT: Desperate Times... times. Like a times table. Please tell me that was intentional.
Thank you very, very much! The dialogue was very forced; for whatever reason I was fighting the wordcount pretty hard (I cut almost 300 words from the 1st draft) and I had to keep the dialogue very focused. Thank you again for the kind words and especially for the Pratchett comparison! Hee.
And yes. Desperate Times (Tables) was 100% on purpose.
A well-calculated story.
:P
Thank you so much!
The power of 1x3 compels you! Great use of the theme and nice imagery!
Thanks; glad you liked it!
Excellent story! I could tell you struggled a bit with the word limit, but your visuals and descriptions were spot on. "It moved like an animation with half its frames lifted out" -- loved this line, especially.
I did struggle with the word limit - now *there's* an unconventional weapon. :) But I'm glad you appreciated the imagery; I tried to provide a compelling and interesting take on Change daemons that honours where they've come from while also being unique.
fantastic idea!
Thank you!