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A jam submission

Knight Errant - OPR Writing Jam #6 SubmissionView project page

Imja Kontostephanos, pilot of a fearsome combat walker, finds more than she bargained for on the world of Hereward.
Submitted by SupNerds — 18 hours, 10 minutes before the deadline
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Knight Errant - OPR Writing Jam #6 Submission's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Adherence to the Theme#24.3814.381
Overall#34.3024.302
Flow & Clarity#34.3334.333
Concept & Originality#104.1904.190

Ranked from 21 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted

Loved this all around. Clear, original, precise. Every detail well placed, the action well paced, and the descriptions awesome in a classical sense. Great read!

Submitted

A great, "straight" take on the theme. I think the after-action report summarizing the epilogue in a lore-appropriate way was my favorite part!

Submitted

A good, solid exploration of the given theme. I liked the descriptions and imagery, and the characterizations were solid and relatable. The language used was heavy on "legacy" terms and imagery, (e.g. 'damage-litanies', 'compliance', and the style of the military transmission) and, considering that this is not the Imperium of Mankind, my personal preference is to try and re-imagine new terminology and ways of doing things for the Sirius sector. Also I felt that right at the end, when Imja steps into the street to signal the other walker, her new companions should have had some sort of reaction. Was it a wordcount issue? In any case, a well-done story.

Developer

Yeah, it was a wordcount issue :/ I think in hindsight it might have been better to drop the report at the end and use that space to flesh out the Ram-Headed Son encounter a little more. I had to drop like thirty or forty words from the completed story just to get it to format right without "GLORY TO THE GOD-KING" dropping onto a new page. It's frustrating because my Writing Jam #5 submission  was nearly 1100 words and still had space on the page for ~2 more paragraphs.

Submitted

Ooh I feel your pain there. My own dialogue-heavy submissions *frequently* have to be formatted and edited within a very inch of their lives to stay on one page.

Submitted

Such a cool idea, and very well executed

Submitted

First story I've read with titan lords in it and it's a real good one! The character development and descriptions were especially good.

Submitted

Nice job incorporating Knight Walkers into a character story, that’s well done.

Developer (1 edit)

I'm glad you liked it - I think giant mechs (and the people that drive them) are super neat, and I like writing about them while avoiding the bolter-porn angle of "This giant war-machine strides across the battlefield and kills everything in its path and it's sick as hell!". It didn't fit into this story for space reasons, but if I ever write a Titan Lord story again it'll be multiple pilots for one Titan, like Pacific Rim only they're a polycule.

Submitted

Hey just letting you know, I'm getting an error message when I try to download your story! Hope I'm the only one this is happening to

Developer

Were you ever able to download and read it?