Play Story
Knight Errant - OPR Writing Jam #6 Submission's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Adherence to the Theme | #2 | 4.381 | 4.381 |
| Overall | #3 | 4.302 | 4.302 |
| Flow & Clarity | #3 | 4.333 | 4.333 |
| Concept & Originality | #10 | 4.190 | 4.190 |
Ranked from 21 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Leave a comment
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.
Comments
Loved this all around. Clear, original, precise. Every detail well placed, the action well paced, and the descriptions awesome in a classical sense. Great read!
A great, "straight" take on the theme. I think the after-action report summarizing the epilogue in a lore-appropriate way was my favorite part!
A good, solid exploration of the given theme. I liked the descriptions and imagery, and the characterizations were solid and relatable. The language used was heavy on "legacy" terms and imagery, (e.g. 'damage-litanies', 'compliance', and the style of the military transmission) and, considering that this is not the Imperium of Mankind, my personal preference is to try and re-imagine new terminology and ways of doing things for the Sirius sector. Also I felt that right at the end, when Imja steps into the street to signal the other walker, her new companions should have had some sort of reaction. Was it a wordcount issue? In any case, a well-done story.
Yeah, it was a wordcount issue :/ I think in hindsight it might have been better to drop the report at the end and use that space to flesh out the Ram-Headed Son encounter a little more. I had to drop like thirty or forty words from the completed story just to get it to format right without "GLORY TO THE GOD-KING" dropping onto a new page. It's frustrating because my Writing Jam #5 submission was nearly 1100 words and still had space on the page for ~2 more paragraphs.
Ooh I feel your pain there. My own dialogue-heavy submissions *frequently* have to be formatted and edited within a very inch of their lives to stay on one page.
Such a cool idea, and very well executed
First story I've read with titan lords in it and it's a real good one! The character development and descriptions were especially good.
Nice job incorporating Knight Walkers into a character story, that’s well done.
I'm glad you liked it - I think giant mechs (and the people that drive them) are super neat, and I like writing about them while avoiding the bolter-porn angle of "This giant war-machine strides across the battlefield and kills everything in its path and it's sick as hell!". It didn't fit into this story for space reasons, but if I ever write a Titan Lord story again it'll be multiple pilots for one Titan, like Pacific Rim
only they're a polycule.Hey just letting you know, I'm getting an error message when I try to download your story! Hope I'm the only one this is happening to
Were you ever able to download and read it?