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A jam submission

The Curious Case of the Smoke BoxView game page

A short horror-themed text adventure for the Robot Party Game Jam 2024
Submitted by NatStarlight — 15 hours, 35 minutes before the deadline
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The Curious Case of the Smoke Box's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Sticking to the Rules#204.0114.320
Promoting the Restaurant#253.0833.320
Overall#253.2683.520
Actually Fun#282.7112.920

Ranked from 25 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted(+1)

Thrilling! Text adventures are a tricky art, and you've done very well here! The writing is awesome, with intrigue and mystery oozing from each page immersed me right from the start and had me hooked for the duration. Liked the different endings, the danger from the Pitmaster sequence felt very real getting more and more lost as the shadows close in. Had a blast playing this one.

Developer(+1)

Thank-you so much, glad you enjoyed! I'm really glad the sense of mystery and tension came across so well!

Submitted(+1)

Writing is always the hardest part of the game jam for me. When staring at the blank page, it feels almost impossible to just start writing. So it's incredibly impressive that you've written so much and so well. Seriously, the writing here is superb, I was locked in from the beginning and it just flew by. I love the way the mascots were described in an almost SCP fashion (one of my favs this jam), especially how the Pitmaster's presence was felt even as a creepy cutout on the wall! Incredible experience!

Developer(+1)

Thank-you so much and I'm glad you enjoyed it! Writing can definitely be daunting especially when it’s just not flowing. I jumped into Twine shortly after the jam planning stream and before I knew it I was having so much fun making this. I think a combination of the inventive prompt and playing around with a new format I’d never used before really helped invigorate me after being in a bit of a writing slump lately. I’m glad the fun I had writing and putting this together seems to have come across so well!

(+2)

You are genuinely an incredible writer. It is so hard to be able to keep a readers attention these days, especially when its white text on a black screen, but I was glued to the screen from start to end. Super well realized world. Even if you don't win the game jam, to me, your story is my permanent headcanon. Great work! 

Developer(+1)

Those are incredibly encouraging words, thank-you :) I'm happy it drew you in so much!

(+1)

Great job building a mood and keeping the tension really engaging!

Developer

Thank-you!

(+1)

Incredibly good read.  You've a talent for story telling.

Developer

Thank-you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Submitted(+1)

From one writer to another, this is absolutely fantastic. 

Developer

Thank-you, that really means a lot! And thank-you for following!

Submitted(+2)

A thrilling text adventure! Really did well in painting an image of how these mascot characters would have been as actual creatures. That Glerry descripting sure is creepy!

Developer(+1)

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Translating each mascot into a strange cryptid-like creature was definitely one of the funnest parts for me. And yeah, figuring out what Glerry would be was a particular highlight, so I'm glad that came across!

(+2)

This was a great story that kept me gripped the whole time.

Developer(+1)

I'm so glad to hear that, thank-you!

Submitted(+2)

incredibly well written.  felt tense and on edge throughout.  but it was still an easy read and i was able to read it all out loud on stream without any issue with that or with time.   was also interesting to see how it changed with different decisions

Developer(+1)

Thank-you for the kind words and thanks again for checking the game out on stream! Readability was definitely a big priority so that really is so nice to hear! I had some fun figuring out the different paths though I definitely could have gone further and that’s something I’d prioritize if I did something like this again!

(+2)

I liked this a lot. You managed to really sell the atmosphere. Especially towards the end, I could definitely feel the tension. Very nice work.

Developer(+1)

Thank-you, I'm really glad the tension came across and was effective!

Submitted(+2)

Creepy story with lots of interesting descriptions.

Developer(+1)

Thank-you!

Submitted(+2)

Well done making a text adventure so tense. You also found a way to make Kyle play a detective game so props for that too.

Developer(+1)

omg I completely forgot about Kyle's detective hang-up haha And thank-you, glad you enjoyed!