Thanks for the feedback, I think I'm just going to write in the template itself rather than transfer everything over next time.
I was struggling at the end there, thank you for the feedback!
Thank you, trying to get everything on one page has hurt me before so it's definitely something I need to focus on for the next jam.
I appreciate that, I always struggled with the finer points of English lol.
Thank you, I thought the Automa possibly becoming sentient was a great narrative hook in the vinci faction book.
Nice use of the drained, they're my favorite choice for the vampire's infantry.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, I've been focusing on writing longer stories recently and I think that hurt me here.
Rock and Stone! Controlled cave ins are certainly one way to kill some bugs!
Loved the astronomy, you think more vampires would be interested in that sort of thing!
I may be reading it wrong, but it feels like there rebel guerillas have some (or just insinuated) connection here with havoc change demons.
It felt like very little happened and too much was reiterated, still any story about Havoc Dwarves is a good one to me!
The way he gets conscripted was rough, reminded me of the marines in starcraft and helped differentiate the Prime Brother origins
Thank you, I hadn't realized I had copied my text wrong until I saw everyone else's submissions, I'll remember it for next time!
Yes I wanted to go with the Infected colonies but didn't want to be too overt with it, I guess I went a bit too subtle and could have included more of their big monster units. Thank you for the feedback, I will remember it for next time!
