Play book
Smoke Break - OPR Writing Jam #10's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Flow & Clarity | #1 | 4.310 | 4.310 |
| Adherence to Theme | #1 | 4.310 | 4.310 |
| Overall | #2 | 4.080 | 4.080 |
| Concepts & Originality | #37 | 3.621 | 3.621 |
Ranked from 29 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Congratulations on placing! Please reach out to marketing@onepagerules.com with your MyMiniFactory email address to claim your prize!
Awesome story!
Ooo, short and sweet and you absolutely nailed the ending. Really well done!
Really enjoyed this one. It was a perfect encapsulation of the theme.
clearly and tightly written and shot was on theme, nice!
This one got me. I knew where it was going but could do nothing to stop the chills it gave me. Loved it!
Thanks! It is very nice to hear that the story "worked".
I absolutely love the imagery of the story. I could really picture myself in that cold dungy bunker. That ending though. The sheer amount of emotion it showed without even saying a word. beautiful.
Thanks! I really appreciate the kind words.
I liked this one a lot! It's refreshing to read a story that doesn't feel like it's had sections chopped out to fit in the word limit. A worse story might feel simple and underdone, but yours feels very intentional - you used exactly the space you needed and no more.
Thanks! My first draft was actually under the 500 word minimum by a bit and I felt like a student trying to pad out an essay's word count to get it over 500 without "ruining" it. :P
It was the opposite problem I thought I would have...
brutal and heartbreaking. I love it!
Glad you liked it! As soon as I saw the jam theme I went "Darn, whatever I write is going to have a sad ending, isn't it?"
with a theme like consequences, somebody is gonna get deleted 😅
Clearest story I've read so far and you nailed the theme and grimdark tone.
Nice work!
Thank you very much!