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A jam submission

The Last Lecture of High Priest LaChromaView project page

A Machine Cultist pokes around where they don't belong, for OPR Writing Jam #10
Submitted by Jackyackyaki — 11 hours, 46 minutes before the deadline
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The Last Lecture of High Priest LaChroma's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Adherence to Theme#373.2313.435
Concepts & Originality#383.5993.826
Flow & Clarity#443.1083.304
Overall#443.3123.522

Ranked from 23 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted

Very interesting, although the "action" is a little muddled. 

Submitted(+1)

Genuinely an excellent little spot of sci-fi horror!

Something like this could easily serve as the intro or reveal for a great piece of longer-form grim work too.

Submitted(+1)

Wow, this is the most vivid submission I've read and it STILL manages to pack in some grand-scale world building. I was entirely immersed in the visual horror but still went back to read it a second time to appreciate the twist. I love to see the ideologies of the factions explored to their extremes! 

Submitted(+1)

I really enjoyed how well this story fit the theme. It was  filled with twists and turns right until the end. 

Submitted(+1)

I enjoyed it!

Submitted(+1)

I really enjoyed this story - you fit a perfect amount of content into the jam limit, and the recorder as a framing device works well. The title is fun and the ending is punchy - nice job!

Submitted(+1)

Excellently sinister!

Submitted

Excellently sinister!