Very cool twist when we understand the real necessity of the character's actions. Dwarves digging too deep is nothing new, but it's always good to get a well done look at the consequences.
We love big softies. The action could have been more intense with fewer name drops and more environmental description; show the main character's confusion and fear by making him feel more isolated before Oscar distracts the monster.
It felt like the beginning of The Last of US, which is not a bad thing, but I think Elves are more interesting when they are distinctly alien. That's a taste thing though. The theme may have been more powerful if this character was shown doing something that established him as doing Dark Elf things at the end.
A fun read that is let down by the ending. To have two "you know what you did"s turns intrigue into confusion. The harlequin sections were particularly flavorful.
Style: The submissions were required to use the provided formatting and to fit on one page. All of that white space should have been single line breaks and indentation on the first line of each paragraph. Dialogue that does not terminate needs to end with a comma immediately before the end quotation. You should describe the speakers' tone or volume rather than using caps for dialogue.
Content-wise, it's a fine scene. The concepts of dwarves vs elves/dark elves being naughty is not unique, but this was a good offering to those ideas. You could have spared a few of the repetitive beats of dialogue and used that word count to be more descriptive of the setting, the actions, the emotions we are observing. Dropping the consequences line at the end was a bit on-the-nose, but some people like that.
This was a very touching take on the fraternal bonds of warriors. I wonder what happened to change the tone of the remembrance from one generation to the next. Guess I'll just have to keep an eye out for the continuation!
The introspection of a desperate man in denial. Light on consequence, but a satisfying read to slake your thirst.
Edit: I don't know what I was talking about, the entire inner monologue is a product of the choices he has made. That's what the kids call a "consequence".
While "make ratmen go away" is not a unique conceit, the theme of consequences was well-woven into the macro- and micro-levels of this punchy little tale. I like very much.
