Play book
Something About Plans and First Contact Or; A “Ganger’s” First Robbery by R.K. Holmes's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Adherence to Theme | #10 | 3.619 | 3.619 |
| Overall | #33 | 3.222 | 3.222 |
| Concepts & Originality | #34 | 3.381 | 3.381 |
| Flow & Clarity | #43 | 2.667 | 2.667 |
Ranked from 21 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Nice work, just needed a couple of passes to help tighten it up a bit.
I like the concept, a veteran ganger recalling a heist gone wrong is gold! But, I think it could use a good editing pass to clean it up and help it flow smoothly. The pacing is a bit off and there are some awkward phrasing and spelling mistakes that could be cleaned up.
I liked it but I felt that the characters just flipped without any warning because there wasn’t much set up. They were there, then they just weren’t without any reason until a reveal that seemed a little flat. However, the twist at the end with the other character was good. I just wish I had been fleshed out more, but 500-1000 words aren’t much to work with.
There were a few misspellings and a few points where I had to reread several times, but overall, it was a really good story.
There were a few misspellings and a few points where I had to reread several times, but overall, it was a really good story.
Loved it! Great ending
I really enjoy how this fits the theme. Heist gone wrong is fun and I wasn’t expecting that ending.