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Thank you, was nice to leave something in for people like yourself.

Thank you for your kindness!

Thank you, thought I would try something different.  Glad it worked out!

Thank you for your kind words.  I agree with you, I dont think it will and it certainly could have done with a lot more work - I was pressed for time and only had one evening to get it done - but it was a fun little challenge nonetheless.

Characters, place, pace, stakes - all brilliant!  Fantastic work!

Good stuff. I liked the characters, they had some real heart to them, but it could have used a couple of revisions for typos etc.  Great stuff

Good stuff, appreciated the sense of urgency.

Nice work! Best cliffhanger I've seen so far, I did want to see where it went.

Nice work!  Agree with Buggritt about the poisoned food, but very engaging.  Good stuff!

Great stuff, really appreciated your ability to create the world.  To create the people in space, it was excellently done!

Fantastic work, lovely prose, you should be proud of this!  

Nice work, just needed a couple of passes to help tighten it up a bit.  

Great stuff, really felt the world.  I suppose my only criticism is that you could show and not tell, bringing some of these scenes from flashback to the present will make them much more vibrant.  There is a passivity to the past tense which can 'defangs' it somewhat.  Agree with Omnitect and Buggritt, but great work!

This is just me, but I felt like I knew I had a good image of the beastman, but you had about 600 words of description and scene setting before that dialogue beins and the plot began to move apace.  I think potentially you could have pulled back a bit on some of the description and blended it in with the dialogue.  That conversation paints a pretty vivid image of the characters as well.  I think I would have liked to see more of the characters shown through them interacting with each other, your world shown through that interplay - something sitting just beneath that let your audience read into the world. 

Its never said in the story but to me the Barrister reads as a 'holier than thou' person who is looking down on his captor, unlike Yak’Dul who might be but isn't showing it as the scene opens - two opposing philosophies with room for interpretation.  I always like it when an author gives me space to fill in the blanks, and here is a great example of it.  Just my two cents but hope it helps.

I think you've got a lot of feedback here giving you plenty to take forward.  First point, nice work in keeping things clear concise.  I think when looking for your next project look for repeated words - for example the first sentence has the word 'battle' twice as well as battle field, then again in the next sentence.  If you use a word like that, try to not use it again for another two or three sentences.  I think that the other thing that stood out to me is that you use the passive voice/form a lot, when thing are happening, e.g. 'The Orks charged', 'stood their groud', 'opened fire'.  If you were to change those to being active - 'The Orks charging', 'standing their groud', 'opening fire' - it becomes more engaging and raises the stakes of the encounter.  It shifts the perspective of you narrating the event, to us being there seeing it.

Look forward to seeing what you do next!

Loved the battle imagery, great stuff.

Fun little number about everyone's favourite characters!  Great stuff!

Nice work!  I like all the tension building all culminating to an 'Ah...fuck' moment.

Nice stuff, lot's going on, but the long paragraphs made for a challenging read.  I like that it was the three of them left, but I didn't feel the high stakes until about halfway through. Could you have started in the basement?  Raise the stakes on the characters and see how they do.

Good stuff!  The dialogue was nice and you have some fantastic descriptions there.  The interpretation was interesting but I think it could have done with perhaps a tiny bit more time - only a little bit more.  I think that you can trust your audience to fill in some of the blanks, if you give them a compelling enough sketch they will fill in the rest.  The bodies scattered on rooftops, the sunset seeping through windows were brilliant at setting the mood.

Nice work, I like the frame and the alliterative work - it reinforces the compounding failures.  I perhaps would have like to have seen the letter either sent to a lover, close family member or the sort?  Or perhaps more jingosim?  Just a little that would either invite the reader for a moment self reflection or to try and read more into the narrator.

Good work, look forward to seeing next your next work.  Keep writing!

Thanks for the feedback.  I can't help but somewhat agree,  I wanted to set myself the challenge of writing in a setting I hadn't touched yet,  so I think focus went to realising the place - need to find a better balance next time.  Could have done with a few more drafts, but then again, what couldn't?  Worthwile experience for next time.

Thanks for the feedback.  I think like everyone the word limit was a challenge, a good one, but did mean that some of those transitions were somewhat more sudden than I would like.  Ah, experience for next time.