Play book
Countdown - OPR Writing Jam #11's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Overall | #3 | 4.023 | 4.241 |
| Adherence to Theme | #3 | 4.111 | 4.333 |
| Flow & Clarity | #5 | 4.058 | 4.278 |
| Concepts & Originality | #15 | 3.900 | 4.111 |
Ranked from 18 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
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Another strong entry - you used the timer well as a plot device to punctuate the story and provide natural scene breaks! I only wish you'd had the space to finish the countdown - I can't help but feel that I just read the first 1000 words of a 1500-word story and I didn't leave it with a sense of resolution. It's still an enjoyable story, though, and your voice is crisp and clear as ever.
Thanks! Yeah, I'm not particularly satisfied with the ending (or lack thereof) either. I was a bit overambitious with the scene concept and didn't have the time or motivation to completely restructure it after I realized I wouldn't have the space I needed, so it was reworked into a cliffhanger. The team didn't have enough time to complete their mission, and I didn't have enough words :P
I personally avoid writing combat given the limit of 1000 words, but you've handled it incredibly well. Nice work!
Thanks! I am a sucker for a bit of action, so I figured I'd try to make it work.
The descriptions on the bridge screen were a little bit confusing, but overall a really fun and clear read.
Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it! I'll have to see if I can edit it to be more clear in the future.
very nice i like it
Glad you enjoyed it!
Very well written, I enjoyed it a lot.
Thanks!
So well written and enjoyable!!! 5 stars here for you
Thank you!
Nicely written and very enjoyable, and not meaning to nitpick but if the torpedos were that close and expected to destroy the ship and the boarding team didn't teleport/transport in/out not sure they could get out and clear from the vessel anyway?
Thanks for the feedback and taking the time to read the story, I really appreciate it! My intent was to convey how down-to-the-wire the mission was. It's very possible, likely even, they don't have enough time to escape anymore, at least not the way they intended.
Good narrative with a very nicely written ending.
Thanks! The ending had to be rewritten a couple times to fit the word limit, so I'm very happy it seems to have turned out well.
Solid read. Diction was clear and the concept well communicated. Well done.
Thanks!
My God dude (or chick). If you wrote a whole book, I would buy it. It would be criminal if this submission doesn't win. 5 stars across the board.
Thanks, I really appreciate it!
Great use of the 1k words. Very high quality writing, was a joy to read.
Thanks! It took a few attempts to get under that word limit...
This reads like a pro wrote it, and has my vote for first prize. I want to know what happens next.
You are far, far too kind! I had to end it on a cliffhanger to get under 1000 words, unfortunately.