Very fun story! Keep writing! I can't wait to see what you create for the next Writing Jam!

Fun story! Keep writing! You seem to have a good instinct for storytelling, so focus on grammar and voice as much as possible. :) I hope to read more in the future!

This seems like a good basis for the start of the story it has all the characters it needs and a location that is ripe for use. It just needs some juice to it now. Something for the reader to sink their teeth into. The theme is very much there, but currently the story is wanting for a bit more to flesh it out. 
I hope to see a future draft of how this develops in time!

Good work! Keep it up!

literal reflection, nice

I liked this story a lot, keep on writing

Good use of dialogue, and you build a good sense of urgency through the story. Nice "horror" feel. A few more hints about the setting would be good, to know where/when the story is set, but the bits you dropped ("Circus de Galaxy") were tantalizing!

This is some great work. I especially liked how you managed to balance the dialogue, action, and narration moment to moment, creating a vivid mental picture, just like a movie. Even great published authors forget to do this many times.

I look forward to reading more next time!

Considering your age, I think this was very well executed. You show a lot of promise and I hope you'll keep working to realize it!

Short and sweet. Lacking some OPR content. Some theme was found.