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The AfterTale's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Unique Selling Point | #26 | 2.643 | 2.643 |
| Engagement | #26 | 2.429 | 2.429 |
| Overall Pitch Quality | #27 | 2.571 | 2.571 |
| Clarity | #28 | 2.429 | 2.429 |
Ranked from 14 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Judge feedback
Judge feedback is anonymous and shown in a random order.
- Climbing the Tower of Babel in a Classic RPG Roguelike hybrid is a great premise! Suggestions: -- Make sure you highlight your Unique Selling Points in your pitch tweet. -- Ask someone to proofread and edit for you. -- Avoid unnecessary hashtags as they limit space you can use to describe your game. -- Your Trailer looks like a good start but would be better used to showcase Gameplay and Game Scenes for most of the time rather than panels of text.
- Feedback submitted as Indie Legion.
- Explain more in your tweet about what the game is about, your video should showcase gameplay rather than dialogue.
- The video's premise for twitter is cool, but needs less text More screen shots needed for the press kit
- I like the brevity and ominousness, I'm excited for what lies ahead beyond the tarot card portion. But I do think the font size, spacing need work. With it being a tad straining on the eyes as they are.
PitchYaPitch Tweet
https://twitter.com/TAftertale/status/1452573999389626374
Press Kit Link (DevLog Update)
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1Mts4b_oasznn80bPEskurdbGH51UwiPag9lkF6mav1k/edit#slide=id.gf93044917e_7_81
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Comments
Not sure I have a clear sense of what the game is like to play from this pitch - cleaning up the trailer/text to make it more concise & feature gameplay would probably go a long way. Love the art style!
I like the premise of the game but had no idea where we were going at the start of the tweet. Maybe flip those? Or introduce the key concepts within the top part? The trailer itself was basically a bunch of text. I think showing gameplay would be a better use of that time and space. Really give the players a taste of what is unique about this particular roguelike.
Feedback submitted as Indie Legion.
Climbing the Tower of Babel in a Classic RPG Roguelike hybrid is a great premise!
Suggestions:
-- Make sure you highlight your Unique Selling Points in your pitch tweet.
-- Ask someone to proofread and edit for you.
-- Avoid unnecessary hashtags as they limit space you can use to describe your game.
-- Your Trailer looks like a good start but would be better used to showcase Gameplay and Game Scenes for most of the time rather than panels of text.
Suggested Tweet Edit:
#TheAfterTale is a Roguelike Classic Turn-Based RPG.
Climb the tower of babel with a party of 4 souls, each with peculiar talents, in a contest by the mysterious GameMaster to test your mettle.
Who will survive?
Follow on Itch for Updates
https://theaftertale.itch.io/the-aftertale
#PitchYaPitch
Sounds like an interesting concept! I think the last part of your tweet where you elevator pitch the game is really good. I'm not sure this video is the best way of showing pitching your game, as it's mainly very small text which doesn't read great when scaled down on Twitter. You'd be better off showing a collection of screenshots or showing some of the turnbased combat etc imo.
Ohh it's so coooool. I'm so excited to talk about this game I adore the idea it's awesome!!! I love the music in the trailer and the antagonist he's just so mysterious and cool, and the story, and just UNFH!! Really cool, can't wait to play it!
oh Piecake you're such a sweetheart you blow new life in me ty very much for real
I like your text but there is no link or aything people can follow. Also you can work on your press kit to gave people more about your game.. Good luck
A bit too many seconds of text before showing gameplay.
Can't seem to access the press kit
thats weird it works for me, provabilly i have done something wrong
Oh ok i fixed it i mistakely put the file in just those who i give permission to can access it
the pitch part came very late. It was a charming tweet, but very unclear
ty for the suggestion can i please ask you what you mean with the pitch part came very late?
with pitch I mean a clear summary of the game. There was a lot of other text before you described the game
ty very much for the explanation ill try to work on improve the tweet as well as the animation to both show some of the game as well as to be clearer and get to the point quickier
+ Succinct
+ GameMaster character
+ Attention grabbing
- Gameplay remains a mystery.
- Font spacing and fitting.
- English (slightly problematic)
ty for the judgement i'll work hard to improve all fo the tree points before the 2nd november