Not sure I have a clear sense of what the game is like to play from this pitch - cleaning up the trailer/text to make it more concise & feature gameplay would probably go a long way. Love the art style!

I like the premise of the game but had no idea where we were going at the start of the tweet. Maybe flip those? Or introduce the key concepts within the top part?  The trailer itself was basically a bunch of text. I think showing gameplay would be a better use of that time and space. Really give the players a taste of what is unique about this particular roguelike.

Feedback submitted as Indie Legion.

Climbing the Tower of Babel in a Classic RPG Roguelike hybrid is a great premise! 

Suggestions:

-- Make sure you highlight your Unique Selling Points in your pitch tweet. 

-- Ask someone to proofread and edit for you. 

-- Avoid unnecessary hashtags as they limit space you can use to describe your game.

-- Your Trailer looks like a good start but would be better used to showcase Gameplay and Game Scenes for most of the time rather than panels of text.

Suggested Tweet Edit:

#TheAfterTale is a Roguelike Classic Turn-Based RPG.

Climb the tower of babel with a party of 4 souls, each with peculiar talents, in a contest by the mysterious GameMaster to test your mettle.

Who will survive?

Follow on Itch for Updates

https://theaftertale.itch.io/the-aftertale

#PitchYaPitch

Sounds like an interesting concept! I think the last part of your tweet where you elevator pitch the game is really good. I'm not sure this video is the best way of showing  pitching your game, as it's mainly very small text which doesn't read great when scaled down on Twitter. You'd be better off showing a collection of screenshots or showing some of the turnbased combat etc imo.

I like your text but there is no link or aything people can follow. Also you can work on your press kit to gave people more about your game.. Good luck

A bit too many seconds of text before showing gameplay.