I loved the idea of framing it as a letter. Very metafictive. It did make the story a bit less immersive but gave a way to increase scope within the wordcount. Shane its not on the nice template.
Great to see some fantasy in the mix. So few and far between. Again like most stories in the jam I feel the scope the composer has gone for is a bit large for the wordcount. In this case it doesn't undermine the story as much. Some great vignettes into the characters life leading up to their first battle.
I would have loved to see this story be just a single moment well described, specifically the moment where Lyra was betrayed. But because of the way it was told the story felt like an outline rather than a narrative. Lots of telling events vaguely rather than getting into a moment and creating immersion. Potential to be a really cool plot, but not in a 1000 word limit.
Interesting story. I think the scope was a bit large for the wordcount, but otherwise intriguing. Ultimately the flow was hampered by the jumping from scene to scene and that impacted the read, but once you got to the end and could fill in the blanks it was pretty engaging as a tale. I'd love to read this with a 5000 word count.
Interesting story. Probably needed more words to be told properly but cool idea. Like others i didn't really see the theme until after reading the composers comments. Maybe foreshadowing/signposting that better would have changed my engagement. I did like that it was a different story to others
Hopefully I have submitted this correctly. Thanks for the opportunity to write some fiction with your game in mind. I'd love to write more without the restrictive wordcount haha.
I can't wait to read the rest of the entrants work. :)
