Well that sure was something different. A very good and interesting story that does a great job using only a few individuals and the conflict between them. The ending too was top notch with how everything came together, even if there was no real happy ending.

I liked the story here - the desperation of struggling to escape pressures imposed by family and culture is a very relatable, universal subject and you addressed it unflinchingly. The story does use some modern language - e.g., Adelaide thinking that her relationship with Damon could easily become "abusive" or referring to another character's relationship as an "ex" - and you'd make your writing more immersive if your characters' thoughts and dialogue stayed rooted in their time and culture. (Of course, this is a fantasy story, but the Vinci culture is heavily based on historical Renaissance Italy.) 

The language and pacing was excellent overall - the dry summation of Damon's character as

"he thought of the town as “ quaint ” and “ simple ”, and not as a compliment" was beautiful and gave me a perfect mental image of him - and I can definitely see how you've been growing as a writer looking back on your work from previous jams.

Well… that was depressing!

Lots of people seem to enjoy the duchies of Vinci, so I’ve noticed.

I think this marks four stories, including mine, that feature them.

Very dark! Great work. 

Ghastly, quite the deal gone wrong. The theme of the jam was somewhat hard to find, but the classic message of "be careful what you wish for" rings like a bell on a bright day. I look forward to your improvements the next jam.