Crazy cool story! I loved the atmosphere all the way through. I also really appreciate the quality of the writing in general. In general you have a tendency to over-write things, but this story feels very clear and relatively concise! The writing was engaging and interesting, and never got so complex that I couldn't understand what was happening. My one critique is about the ending: it felt a little anticlimactic. You set up a really cool central conflict, and then introduce even more conflicts right at the end, only to leave them hanging there. I think the story would have benefited from tying up some of those loose ends (or not introducing them at all). But overall, great game!!
This is great! I love how evocative the setting is. I was really intrigued by how similar the game's storyline is to the novel; as far as I can tell, a lot of the content is pretty one-for-one, yet you did a great job of reframing the narrative around your chosen genre and time period. I'll be really interested to see where the story goes from here and how it concludes. If it's anything like the novel, it'll be a huge twist, and hard to pull off -- but if you do pull it off, it'll be really incredible. Great job, I'd love to play this when it's finished!
This felt really good! Your dialogue is fantastic -- it evokes the speaker's personality really well. I'm excited to see more dialogue from the other characters in the story. The choice structure was very fun too. I liked how you described the situation and incorporated choices into the dialogue. It felt like I was thinking strategically, which is exactly how it seems like this character SHOULD think... basically, all the different elements of the game work together in a really harmonious way. If that makes any sense. Anyway, this was fantastic and I'm excited to see the final version!
I love weird stories like this! It was super engaging all the way through. I always felt interested in what was happening and very motivated to continue reading. I loved the non-traditional choice structures too; the ones involving fonts, waiting, etc. They were very creative and very well-executed. My one critique is that it could have tied more directly to the Little Prince in order to align with the restrictions of the assignment. It feels like a story that references the Little Prince, not an adaptation of its narrative. Overall, very fun game!
Wow, what a ride! This was really fascinating to read. First of all, I love how expressive your characters are, especially the protagonist. I appreciated the expressive dialogue choices a lot; they were rich and interesting and I got to play Dorian like a total jerk, which was fun. The story's overall pacing is also pretty spot-on. It feels like the narrative spirals out of control, which reflects the main character's gradual decline toward insanity. I really can't think of anything to critique off the top of my head. Fantastic story!! Loved it!!!
I love it!! You do a fantastic job of setting the scene -- both the large-scale setting and the immediate physical reality of the character. Your description of the beach, the water, and the pebbles were particularly memorable. I also liked that you made regular references to the POV character's clothing and such; it helped me visualize her appearance and put myself in her shoes. The canoe-dodo transformation confused me a little. Why do I think the dodo is a canoe? Is it hollowed out like a canoe? Was I hallucinating? It might make that section smoother if you specify that -- even though the whole story is pretty fantastical, it always feels coherent, besides that one spot. Most of the other rough patches I'm inclined to point out are sections that you specifically mentioned will be cleaner in the final version. I'd love to play this when it's finished!!
The choices and options felt good! To test the game's limits, I tried to be as contrary as possible, and surprisingly the game reacted to that in a very satisfying way! I do feel like my small choices added up to something much bigger. There were a lot of options, but it didn't feel overwhelming. I never thought that there was too much text in any one passage. I'd maaaaybe suggest breaking it up somehow? It got a little same-y toward the end, since there were no resting points or differences in structure.
