I made something inspired by similar themes, if you want to check it out, its free. Rustbelt by TrueTenno
TrueTenno
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Hey Mat, thank you for commenting!
In my experience, players tend to settle into certain archetypes no matter what setting I play this game in.
One is usually the Law, somebody who enforces the rules.
Somebody is Merchants, they sell stuff.
Somebody is Renegades, lawbreakers, criminals and rogues.
Sometimes there is overlap, and the questions keep players re-evaluating their faction's relationship with one another.
If you happen to play my game with anyone, I would be very interested to know how it goes!
Thanks again for the tips.
Nice adventure. I liked the open nature of encounters like the Champion, who wants to duel but not necessarily kill anyone.
I'm not sure if it is the font you used or everything being in bold. But I would reserve bolded text for specific things that I want to draw attention to.
One cool trick I found with drawing maps. If you put it in Paint.net or a similar program and crank up the contrast, it can create a cleaner picture. Might not work with graph paper though.
Good job though, looks fun to run!
The tan background is a really good idea. I much prefer it to the often-overused "old paper" background look.
One point about the Bewitch power. As written it is difficult to know if it can be "spammed" every turn.
Perhaps if Bewitch only worked on, say, creatures who could hear. That might add a cool angle for players to exploit.
Thank you for the feedback, its really helpful! One of the difficulties of design is seeing the adventure through the eyes of a GM.
I want to fix several things, after the jam. I will give each character something they want in exchange for their chess piece.
You know, I thought about explaining the distances between locations, and then completely forgot! That's going into the fixed version as well
Thanks for the feedback! I was torn on how to do the Game of Champions. I knew I wanted it to be like chess. Originally the PC's were going to be able to summon ANY creature they had ever seen to do battle in their place, but I couldn't work out how to help the GM come up with stats for literally any creature on the fly.
So I came up with the idea of collectible pieces, like Pokemon.
This adventure sounds like a lot of fun! There are lots of things for PC's to do, from fighting in the pits, to joining a band, building a reputation or gambling for trinkets.
Only thing I didn't see was an inciting incident to get the PC's onto the ship. Something like them going for a pleasant moonlight sail in their small boat and getting rammed amidships.
This adventure sounds like a lot of fun! There are lots of things for PC's to do, from fighting in the pits, to joining a band, building a reputation or gambling for trinkets.
Only thing I didn't see was an inciting incident to get the PC's onto the ship. Something like them going for a pleasant moonlight sail in their small boat and getting rammed amidships.
Some feedback:
"To secured the scene." Should be secure? Page 2 introduction.
"The brotherhood is trying to tunnel into the cellar from a Beighboring property" Should be Neighboring? Page 3 rumors.
"Strange flying Jewled bugs" Should be Jeweled Bugs? Page 3 rumors.
"Have moved in to secure the sight of the explosion" Should be Site? Page 3 Factions.
"The townsfolk know excatly what everyone is doing" Should be Exactly? Page 3 Factions.
"Jeweled" and "Waiting spelled incorrectly, page 8.
I like your alchemist generator. Best of luck.
I had some observations about this project.
The White text on white backgrounds for your Headers is difficult to read. If the text or background (Text would be easier) was darker, it would help.
It seems impossible to injure people with light pistols? 1D6 will always fail the lowest toughness of 7. (Now I see Critical hits, but still.)
The ranges seem really arbitrary. Perhaps having Close, Near and Far would be more straightforward.
Want a fantastical setting, but don't want to meddle with magic?
Play as a Alchemist and blow stuff up! Burn with acid, trap with glue and transmute metals.
Or play as an Apothecary and heal, poison and throw bees.
But if you want to build your way to victory, play an Artificier and solve your problems with engineering!
And if you prefer charming tricksters, be a Performer and astonish all with your cunning tricks!
https://truetenno.itch.io/alchemists-apothecaries-artificiers-and-performers