Play game
OPR JAM 11 "PREY"'s itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Adherence to Theme | #20 | 3.471 | 3.765 |
| Concepts & Originality | #30 | 3.471 | 3.765 |
| Overall | #32 | 3.236 | 3.510 |
| Flow & Clarity | #39 | 2.766 | 3.000 |
Ranked from 17 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Leave a comment
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.
Comments
I had to re-read some parts to make sure I had the characters right, I guess it was the limited description of D'Chara and them being replaced with a talking beast. Other than that, I liked the little twist ending and the premise the tale.
Really enjoyed how the ending turned out. With a bit more space, Raenas could've maybe been in a little more danger against the beast, or suffer some consequences from basically losing her bike in the middle of wildnerness, but within the word limit this was a very good read regardless.
This worked rather well, and while the story focus wasn't on the objective character, I can see where you went about prey trying to slip away and still getting caught. Nice!
I feel like you have a great start, and some really talent. It just needed a little more time in the oven. You had decent descriptions, but it felt a little jumpy. Instead of just flowing I feel it went fast, slow, fast slow, even in the action. One thing that I feel held it back was I never felt worried for the MC. It didn't go as planned but I never felt she was in danger. She was also too fast or pulling another gadget out of her bag so to say. I did enjoy the story, and the Saturday morning cartoon ending made me smile. Please keep writing as I think you have talent.
thanks for the kind words! Yeah, the end was kind of a cheeky little nod to the theme that maybe it wasn't about her plans not going according to plan and it was about his. I admit I was writing it between shifts and probbly didn't give it the editing time it deserved.
That ending was hilarious and set up perfectly.