Goblins are fun to read about.

i love how most story's go for a serious tone, where this one is a literal comedy, loved it

Game of Grimdark Brawl, anyone?

So I liked the concept of showcasing the various OPR factions' reactions to some *very* unconventional weapons indeed ;). Some of the jokes and one-liners were really funny ('REDACTED BY THE HOLY ORDER OF BATTLE SISTERS' and 'guild of Dwarven Plumbers' made me laugh out loud!)

However, the grammar was very rough at times. In particular, you don't need a capital letter after quotation marks. You also have so many speakers that it's difficult to follow who's talking, since you often don't tag your dialogue. An easy solution here would be to amp up the stereotypes and pepper the conversation with more references to red wunz goin' faster and the holy God-Queen, since that would make things both easier to follow and suit the irreverent mood you're going for.

This is one of the better ideas I've seen in the jam so far for 'unconventional weapons', and I really appreciated the way you've chosen to play with the theme. Nicely done overall!

this story is off the hook!

This short story underscores the charm in OPR's worldbuilding remaining a blank slate for those writing in these competitions.  You can take the universe and give it a coat of comedy and slapstick, and it works.  The allusions to one Mario Mario and the Inklings was amusing.

There were a few grammatical errors and changes in tense in the middle of a sentence that slowed down my reading pace here and there, but nothing too serious.  The story felt very "chopped up" due to it's dialogue heavy nature, but I don't consider that to be a fault, but rather a necessary evil of creating a dialogue heavy entry.

Thank you for sharing this story for the jam! 

That was a funny read and a nice twist also. You can really feel Whaazoo's panic, try to sell some stuff.

Cute!