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A jam submission

Little Help - OPR Writing Jam #12View project page

Submitted by hydrated02 — 4 hours, 57 minutes before the deadline
Rated by 17 people so far
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Little Help - OPR Writing Jam #12's itch.io page

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Comments

Submitted

This is definitely a fun one, both in concept and execution! I very much enjoy "found journals" as a method of storytelling (points at DINOTOPIA books on my shelf) and this scratched that itch with a real tongue in cheek vibe.

Fun and well-written, a great combo!

Submitted

This looks like a winner to me. Probably the best one so far. Handled the text, the theme and the story very well. Not much to say, it's great!

Submitted(+1)

Concepts & Originality 5/5

Cool concept executed well. Mad scientist experimenting on tech he doesn't understand with unfortunate results isn't a new story, but you put a neat spin on it. No complaints here.

Flow & Clarity 5/5

I like the journal format; it used quite effectively to tell the story. I only noticed a single minor typo that didn't seem intentional. ("this bots" instead of "this bot" or "these bots" at the beginning). Well done.

Adherence to Theme 5/5

I think you handled the theme well, with the story centered around it rather than just including it. The alien grubs as a power source for advanced tech is a neat idea.

If you want to discuss any of my feedback/ratings further, feel free to @ me on the OPR discord.

Submitted

Fun read. Loved the ending 

The journal format was great. I liked the fun you brought to this!

Submitted

lol. Hilarious. Engaging.  Fun. Inventive. Perfect!

Submitted

absolutely awesome story. It was fun it was thought provoking. It built up really well and the pay off at the end was hilarious. Banger story

Submitted

This had so much personality and was a delight to read

Submitted

This was a great read, loved the idea and the format!