I wake up and move to the window that sends visions to my eyes. Picking it up in my hands, I select one portal through many that shows me different possibilities. I am transported to an interesting set-up that builds up a rivalry between an unstoppable force and an immovable object. I want to cry out in joy for the rich emotions I feel, but the vision stumbles, too long and confusing in parts for me to comprehend on my first try. I readjust my portal and start again, trying to make sense of things. I am slightly annoyed by some of the repetition that remained unedited due to the overlong paragraphs. I am slightly annoyed by some of the repetition that remained unedited due to the overlong paragraphs. I attempt to understand the formatting, but it is too bold all the way through. I cry. But as I lose hope in my despair, I see another light, and am reminded of the rich set up again, finding warmth spreading through me like a sunbeam.

I wake up confused and look around. Mixed feelings flow through my mind, but a sense of overall enjoyment encompasses my criticisms.

A lovely story with 2 different protagonists. I liked the imagery and descriptions you provided. I do feel like an edit pass would have been helpful for the overall flow of the story.

I liked this. A vision journey that includes big stompies from another culture's perspective.

I had a hard time following the change in perspective, probably because they were both told in the first person. I'd recommend adding some kind of a visual break to let the reader know who is who.

I love the concept and the vibes, but your writing is very difficult to follow here - there are times when a comma sits where it seems a period should, and the capitalization scheme made it difficult to parse where thoughts started and ended. I think a little editing would really elevate this piece!

Very well done. I really liked this one, even through its flaws. One major flaw with this is how the perspectives kind of meld together near the end. If you try this again, be sure to make clear separations to keep the reader from being confused. Again, well done! Excited to see how you do with the next jam.

I found the flow a bit difficult from the punctuation (feels like a translator issue maybe?),  but an interesting read that left me intrigued.

Good read!

Great story! really enjoyed reading from each of the warriors perspectives