itch.io

https://ashleymorgangames.itch.io/the-sky-city-charade

This is a really great story that speculates on lore so well, combining 2 factions in such a great way. It is a very unique and cool piece that was thoroughly enjoyable to read and made use of interesting perspective shifts. The theme could maybe have been a bit stronger, and some editing to make the flow between perspectives could make it a little easier to read, but overall I really liked this.

Well that sure was something different. A very good and interesting story that does a great job using only a few individuals and the conflict between them. The ending too was top notch with how everything came together, even if there was no real happy ending.

A lovely story with 2 different protagonists. I liked the imagery and descriptions you provided. I do feel like an edit pass would have been helpful for the overall flow of the story.

I love this story. You were able to be very descriptive in the action, and I feel the theme coming through in the conflict. The combination of arrogance with strength versus the intelligence of a supposed lesser being makes a really good story. Some of the short one sentence paragraphs could maybe be combined, but other than that it was a great story.

I loved the idea of a story being told while there is other things going on. The fact that the story is told about a certain individual from a certain race, and then the reveal is fantastic. I also really liked the use of language and themes within the story being told by the main character that was a contrast to the action going on.

I'm loving this story that takes the backstory of the Robot Legions and uses it in a great way. The exploration between 2 different races in the past shows a different, more individual conflict that larger battle. 

I did feel that perhaps the theming could have been made a little clearer.

The theme is very direct, which I appreciate as sometimes subtext goes over my head, but it might even be a little too direct. There is a lot here that is good and could be expanded upon, but the language could be changed to make a more effective narrative.

The premise of this story is really interesting. The use of chess as a plot driver is great, but the twist added into it add a lovely extra dimension. The story effectively creates a small backstory in the setup and drives quickly and efficiently towards a good conclusion that I really enjoyed.

Taking what is often a "horde" army and making use of a small section of them is a really neat idea. I love the individuality put into the rats as they face their foe, and showing them at the start doing something more menial than just fighting. The theme really shines through, and I finished the story trying to work out who was the intelligent one and who was relying on strength more but in a good way, with the twisting of the two concepts in both foes.

I love the use of the theme in this story. The strength element being not from soldiers or armies but an item is a really cool and unique idea. The ending too was really good, the stakes of the story ending up being completely unimportant but in a creative way that actually adds to the narrative and shows the consequences of the conflict.

As someone who love vampire armies in many games, you get props from me for their inclusion (even as an off-screen enemy). I like that it was told from a first person perspective of someone in the room who is not the focus.  I love the slow (as slow as these short stories allow anyway) burn of the reveal of the greater problem. You also get (fake) bonus points from me for filling in empty space with an illustration.

The theme could of perhaps been used more effectively. It was a little difficult to see where that kind of "battle" comes in here.

Oh I loved this story. The imagery of nature as an almost initial foe really stuck with me, but then that transition to showing what at first seemed like a beast of nature wreaking havoc was so good. Whilst I did see the twist coming a little, at least with the servant fighting against the High Elves, I still loved that it went in that direction. And the way the theme was used was really great. I could see an even more fantastic narrative emerge from this without the constraint of the word count. 

The formatting was a little inconsistent, especially for a couple of paragraphs.

I love the juxtaposition between the intelligence side of the main character, and the strength side of both the titan and the father of Antonnio. I also thought the end with strength winning the battle but intelligence used to survive losing to be an interesting dynamic.

I did expect more though from someone called the Strategist to pull out something perhaps more unorthodox in an attempt to win the battle. Even stranger devices or traps, perhaps.

I actually love this setting. Putting characters from a war game into a relatively mundane school situation is a nice break from war itself while still showcasing the theme of the jam and lighter themes of war. 

My biggest criticism is that the story did feel a little short. While there are obvious constraints of a word count to deal with, it could have perhaps been edited for a more natural flow that did not feel rushed in the end.

A lovely original piece. I love the letter concept. That leaning into the faction theme really shines. It is great as a stand-alone item, but can easily fit into a greater narrative if desired. The theme is on the subtle side and blends in well.

The wording could maybe be tightened up a bit to provide a steady narrative.