I did not expect to find a fairy tail mixed in with the already incredibly varied entries to the Writing Jam but I very pleased to do so. A fantastic idea well executed!

nice fairy story, well done

Cool approach to make it a fairy story

Very nicely done! I enjoyed your story quite a bit.

Interesting.... yet I still have no idea what the ending means. I wouldn't mind an explanation as to what happened.

That was great! Keep up the good work!

I'm very happy to read a work by a young writer. Thank you for submitting your work for us to enjoy!

I have two things I'd like to point out that I hope will help you continue to improve your abilities as a writer. First of all, I found the story a little hard to follow in the middle. You have multiple characters acting and reacting in the same paragraph, and in such a short story with so little time to get to know anyone, this can be confusing. Focus on one character's actions at a time. It might have helped if you didn't use names for characters who aren't 'active' - for example, "Amaterasu accepted the gift and wrote a letter to her sister" instead of "wrote a letter to Khari".

Second was the use of the name "Amaterasu". It's a cool name, for sure, but if you give a character a name from mythology, you should use it with a reason. If you name a character "Hercules", that character should be super strong, or be connected to Hercules in some other way.

Thank you again for sharing your work with us!

Twisty ending! 

Wow. I wasn't ready for the twist at the end. This story had me thinking. You managed to get a lot of story in such a small space. What a great job.

I love the "fairy tale" feel to the story! The characters are portrayed well, and I like the surprise at the end. Good job!

Good writing. I liked the Dejaf double-cross.