I AM RATING THESE ALL THESE JAM SUBMISSIONS RELATIVE TO ONE ANOTHER. THERE ARE HIGH HIGHS AND LOW LOWS BUT PLEASE DON’T TAKE THIS TOO PERSONALLY, AFTERALL, WE ALL ONLY HAD A MONTH.

Story (3):

The coffee-hater in me, has to knock a point off for going into so much unnecessary detail about coffee production. Having Ray like Robusta coffee is not a good enough pay-off if all of that was supposed to be the set-up.

I also like the use of choices in this VN. Our lives are constantly like the Butterfly Effect. Any decision you make can eventually end up indirectly killing someone. Life is scary!

Slowly falling in love with this handsome stranger with a bit of doubt was a charming little tale that ends pre-maturely.

Presentation (4):

Mad props for being of the two and half people to make their own MY WOLF instead of using the provided assets.

That date pachinko thing really impressed me.

I still don’t fully understand what was up with the colored text at the beginning. I thought it was going to be blue for the MY WOLF.

Creativity (3):

You were the only person that made their MY WOLF wag their tail in real time. You deserve an award just for that.

I do find it quite entertaining that the stories that both scored a total of 10 Stars from me, were both stories in which the MY WOLF dies.

I also just realized that this is the only submission where the MY WOLF is a twunk and not a chonk or a hunk or a woman.

Total (10):

I remember during my stream, you said that you immediately played Before Your Depart after you submitted Moonlit Field. You said that it accomplished a similar theme to yours but in a much better way.

At the time, I hadn’t played Before You Depart but now I have. I don’t think the connection with the executions between the two are that evident. The best way that I can describe it is that Moonlit Field is like a fast pain while Before You Depart is a slow pain.

I think I need to replay it, to really get a better understanding

I did get a little confusedly teary-eye when I realized that Ray was dead. I just want to pet the wolfo!

Possibly the most solid entry in terms of overall balance. Great presentation with the use of (very cute) custom sprites, great animations, and fun Ren'py tricks I haven't seen before in a FVN. And I really loved the way you used choices as a tool to explore the core theme of the story.

The story and the characters were great, at its peak the interaction between the two romantic interests was genuinely moving. Possibly the only part I didn't enjoy as much was the ending: not because I think there is something wrong with the way the story ended per se, but because it made feel the story a bit less unique, something we've seen before, as opposed to the strong artistic identity it had carved for itself in the preceding parts.

This is a cute VN, had a great time with it. A lot has already been said here that I agree with, so I'd like to focus in on something that I feel like is one of the highlights of this that hasn't gotten a lot of attention.

spoilers past this point for anyone who hasn't read yet.

So Ray is implied to have died in a car accident at the end. This death comes out of nowhere, and leaves the MC with regrets like not saying he loved him back during their last conversation. This rubbed me the wrong way on a first look, because there isn't any set up for this moment, and other stories that do this feel like they are just trying to get a cheap shock out of me. Taking a step back and considering other choices in the work, there is a moment early on where you can essentially get a premature bad end. If you chose not to go to the cafe, you'll never meet your wolf. Ignoring the fact that you can change the course of time in a flashback, (which is wild) I feel this what if scenario is important to what I consider the core theme of this work: every little choice you make is important.

It's as simple as where you choose to go, or what you choose to say, or to not say. The way our lives unfold can't be predicted, so It's important to keep that in mind if you want to live without regrets. While the way this message is delivered is pretty non-standard, It feels like a short story visual novel was the perfect way to do this, perhaps one of the only ways to make such a narrative and have it feel good.

overall, great work!

First one I've rated 5's across the board! Well done!

I'm not going to comment too much on the story, I still feel conflicted about the ending. Overall, the story is composed fantastically and the character writing is excellent. Despite my feeling about the end, it's good enough to earn 5 stars.

I would like to talk about all the other elements in the presentation and composition that I loved.

• The subtle changes in the BG colors is a fabulous. It's a great way to subtly convey shifts in tone.
• The kinetic background are fantastic. The moving stars and the jostling traffic outside the car window was great for keeping my attention during slow parts.
• The false choices were brilliant. They become a storytelling device in and of itself and that's truly innovative.
• Sounds design was on point.
• The phone graphic was a very nice touch and also enhanced the story telling. It was also a vehicle to explore some character traits. Well done!
• The playlist was a cute touch! I might steal that idea for my main project :3c
• The passages* where the character would start typing, backspacing, and retyping was a brilliant touch. Very clever.

The harmony of the visual, audio, and coding elements make this a gem. All of the non-prose storytelling elements are brilliant, subtle, and efficient. This is a master class in VN composition. Well done!

Your presentation was the star of your game. Your tricks with the shaking car, the twinkling stars, the undoing text for the angry work emails? Chefkiss. That's not even talking about the animations, the use of palette for the background to signify the sort of moods. For someone new to renpy(I believe? may be wrong (shrug)), that didn't hinder you from picking up a ton of tricks and making it a visual treat.

Narratively I think we're by some more shaky ground, starting with the most trivial of details in the two character's names -- Ray and Ryan are visually similar. Generally as a rule you want to avoid having characters with very similar names. The prolonged coffee visit could be enough to pull people away from the work, given the duration after traffic. Like you bring in a good verisimilitude in your details to show your subject matter knowledge, but I think we spent a bit too long in the weeds. We were ready to move on a bit quicker.

However, you also did some good elements that blossom with the knowledge of the end. You set up elements that aren't quite foreshadowing, but are given context with the ending. You had some smooth lines, well crafted in their poetry. The structure of the choices are well thought out.

Prose and structure aside, you did a fantastic job and captured the spirit of the tale you wanted to tell cleanly. You showed the transformation you were intending to capture in the characters in tandem with the dates you cleanly used to set the duration of the narrative. Well done! People will surely make note of you for your next project.

I had fun, thanks for participating in the Jam! I look forward to your future novels. The visuals and dialog were great. I definitely didn't expect the ending until we got there. Well done!

Instantly absorbing between its slick presentation and wonderful atmosphere. The cute sprite art and especially the detailed animations are a joy to look at, and I like how the photo backgrounds are curated and edited to ensure the game has a coherent visual style. The narrative, even if probably something you've probably seen before, has a lot of funny and emotional moments. There are a lot of bugs, but I'm impressed by the effort put into this and how well the final result comes together.