Play book
Beast and Bone's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Adherence to Theme | #34 | 3.462 | 3.462 |
| Flow & Clarity | #39 | 3.000 | 3.000 |
| Overall | #41 | 3.192 | 3.192 |
| Concepts & Originality | #50 | 3.115 | 3.115 |
Ranked from 26 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Always love me some Beastmen, and the Ratmen as villains was a surprise twist!
Needed some more editing, but I’m all in for this type of story.
The two former combatants joining forces to face a bigger threat was a really cool idea. I would've liked for them to have teamed up sooner, so we could see them in action. Despite that it was still a pleasure to read.
You'd think the ratties and beasties might get along better. Guess not when they pop up and attack both sides. A few typos here and there occasionally distracted from this great screenplay, but not enough for me to love this tale a lot. Pharaoh Zanakht being slowly revealed as a mounted hero attached to undead cavalry was also a cool way to drip feed details as the story grew.
personally, in a short format, I would have liked to seen more story and a little less battle text. Just a personal thing, but I wasn't getting drawn in with the warm and fuzzy undead personality. But, it's your story and I respect your vision.
Quite a few errors which for me were probably your only let down. Possibly the plausibility of two armies dropping their grudge to fight another as well (but it is fantasy so meh).
great read, very well written battle scene
Loved the flavor and concept overall! There were some small grammar issues but otherwise my only critique is that I wish we got to see the two characters meet sooner! Looking forward to more!
taking time to submit this. I think that it is very difficult to tell a story like this in the heat of battle and honestly I commend the effort.
This was really fun and evocative read. You did a great job of painting a picture with in the limited word count. My only critic is I wish the two characters had met and interacted sooner. I think what I mean is I would like to read the next 1000 words of your story.
I sat down to write and the next thing I knew I spat out 2000 words lol. I cut a lot of stuff out and almost ran out of time. Thank you for the kind words.
So, I found your writing quite good from a technical level, but I ran out of suspension of disbelief when two armies that were literally in the act of fighting suddenly decide to be friends instead. Unlikely allies is a good thing, but unplausible allies requires more work on your part to help me accept.
Yeah, I am honestly not satisfied with the story I did not realize how little a story a thousand words was when I sat down. I ended up writing almost 2000 and had to cut half the story. Almost ran out of time, I'll be ready next time. Thank you for the critique.