Nice to see another narrative 'choose-your-own-adventure but with less choice' approach! The setting's great for your theme and I liked the end screen.

Maybe you could check my game out too? It's in a similar vein, but I gave the player a different choice to replace the lack of agency in decision-making... Different settings and styles, but similarities in gameplay! 

I had not seen this type of game in this game jam, It could be polished more to get more branches and have more participation of the characters, though I understand the time limitations but I would like to see more of this in the future. Keep up the good work!

I think this is a fun twist on visual novels but I personally would have enjoyed this a bit more if there were a few more opportunities for the player to do something, even if the theme is out of control. Like maybe have 2 different options available out of 4? Just something to make me feel like I contributed to the story a little since thats one of the fun appeals of visual novels. I do like the kinda chilling silence in the last scene, and the pop up message saying thank you in the other option, that was pretty cool! Overall I liked it, nice work!

This was great. Not gonna say more because I don't want to spoil anything.

Favorite part was the music. Well done :)

It's not really a game though, more like an interactive story. But ya know, who cares. It's a cool interpretation of the theme.

Things I liked:

Some other people have been drawing comparisons to Doki Doki Literature Club, and I also see a connection there. However, you explored the consequences of player control in very different ways, particularly Scarla refusing to accept their lack of agency. Honestly, the whole second half (starting from the player outing themselves) had some nice philosophical undertones. The cheery music felt a little out of place, but cutting it out at the end was super impactful. Also, nice art!

Areas for improvement:

I hope you make this game a project going forward, because there's a ton more here to explore. There are some polish issues, but that's just the result of not having enough time (as expected for a game jam). The main thing is that the dialogue is very blunt, characters simply laying their beliefs out without any preamble or nuance. This improves somewhat in the second half, but expanding the length should help this. Some other people have complained about a lack of agency, but I feel like that's the whole point. What I would love to have seen is a slow transition from normal dialogue options to complete passivity-- it would help make the lack of agency feel more intentional, create some subtlety in the build-up, and really emphasize the cruel irony of being relied on by Magenta despite having no more freedom in this game than her (brilliant idea working that in, by the way).

Overall:

I'm super impressed that this is your first game jam game. My first was definitely not this good, and I certainly couldn't have done this at 13. I hope you continue doing more game jams and working on this game-- I'm excited to see how you improve!

This gave me some doki doki literature club vibes - really, really interesting idea

Cool concept! Love the 4th wall shenanigans

Hey Melonboii,

Cool concept. The story was a bit long, having to click so much and all the silent moments. I also would like more choices given the focus of the work was dialogue.

However I DO think this is very good for a first jam! Keep working on them game dev skills!

If you have time I would love it if you could try my game and give feed back. Its called Drone.

I'm not quite sure what that was, but it was certainly original 

Nice idea and story!

Really like the concept! Keep it up!

Very interesting concept, I feel the game could have been presented a little bit better, but definitely a really cool game. I love that if you choose to delete "The Cortex" then it brings up a little box in your browser thanking you, super cool touch. I feel the story was a *little* bit bland, but everybody has to start writing somewhere, I read your mini bio that you included, and I'd say that this is a pretty good game for you only being 13 years old. You are on the right path to becoming a good developer, artist and/or storywriter.

Cute game! Enjoy the 4th wall breaking stuff.

Got some strong Doki Doki Literature Club vibes!

I was having trouble clicking on the dialogue, and unfortunately wasn't able to get far, but spam clicking helped. Points for originality!

I'm the guy who likes books with pictures, so (for me) your game could've had some more imagens to tell the story alongside the dialogues. Besides that, you made a good job with the writing!

Interesting concept. Was struggling to click on dialogue options for some reason — it registers only if you click in a certain place. I liked the jokes, error 404 especially :) 

Good and interesting story. I think if you added a more clearer way of telling the player that they clicked on the wrong button it would improve it by quite a bit.