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Tsuya - OST Jam 07's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Correlation to theme | #37 | 4.173 | 4.173 |
| Composition | #43 | 4.141 | 4.141 |
| Overall | #61 | 3.979 | 3.979 |
| Impression | #64 | 3.948 | 3.948 |
| Quality | #95 | 3.995 | 3.995 |
| Creativity | #224 | 3.639 | 3.639 |
Ranked from 191 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Judge feedback
Judge feedback is anonymous.
- The overall structure is nicely defined— I love how this opens with that absolutely beautiful flute/piano duet. The introduction of strings is nicely handled and feels sensible and organic, and it builds beautifully into the full statement. Very nicely handled, and has that sense of inevitability that is sometimes very difficult to achieve— excellent work. The C#/Db in the solo violin part at 1:46 does somewhat stick out to me. While I like the idea of increasing the harmonic complexity, something about this particular note doesn’t quite sit right to my ears— I think perhaps because it is at the top of the dynamic peak it pokes out quite a bit. Having said that, this is only a small critique insofar as I think a live player would certainly be able to pull it off by tucking it in a bit— to the extent possible it might be worth trying to get the sample to not make that note protrude quite so much— I certainly can understand *why* you’d like this particular note here (it seems to fit with the overall harmonic idea you’ve developed), the execution in the moment I think needs a bit of smoothing out. Your string writing sounds wonderful, and I think it could be further enhanced by trying to liven up individual string lines *as lines* rather than just chords. You’ve chosen lovely chords to go along with your melody, now try to use that structure as something that can be a framework for arpeggiated chordal textures in say, the cello, or “rocking” figures in the violas, etc. From a production perspective, I do feel like the reverb effects are a touch aggressive for my taste, especially on the piano. Having said that, I love some of the effects you’ve put on the piano, especially those that give it that “snap-back” sound. Very nicely implemented. I love how you bring up the overall density and dynamics after the violin solo, letting us seamlessly segue back into a more soaring string statement— I was expecting the piece to sort of die down after the solo violin section, so it was a pleasant surprise to hear such a nicely-rendered set of ideas here. Based on your notes, I can see how this illustrates that you could adapt your composition to the flow of the story. Overall lovely work that I think definitely achieves what you were attempting to execute!
Description
Orchestral song.
More detail on the page of the submission or in this Miro link:
https://miro.com/app/board/uXjVKzVwkVc=/?share_link_id=923033516824
Message from the artist
https://miro.com/app/board/uXjVKzVwkVc=/?share_link_id=923033516824
Here is a Miro board with my thoughts.
thank you!
Theme
How does it fit the theme?
Impermanence:
Examining the picture, we can see a little girl in a yukata smiling while holding the hand of what seems like a maternal figure (mom, grandma?), so immediately the theme in Japan (a country I would love to visit for its cultural richness and vistas).
I had some thoughts about the text theme "inside my world", and thought that maybe the bubble-shaped lady could be in the imaginative and boundless world of creativity of this kid.
But even if there is a lot of happiness with the girl smiling from ear to ear and the cute, drawn fish, bubbles, and algae, to me it's still reads as something quite tragic.
Bubbles are by essence, one of the flimsiest physical events that I can think of.
When formed they can seemingly pop randomly and almost immediately, and in the mind of a child, they just cease to exist.
They are the beautiful, but ephemeral, the physical manifestation of impermanence.
In a way, they are a good image for life itself, a fragile and provisional state of existence that we are all bound to.
This picture paints, for me, the beautiful imaginative world of a little girl who is, in a way, connecting one last time with a recently deceased mother/grandmother.
Tsuya:
A Japanese wake is called tsuya which means "passing the night".
I think having this be the starting event of this story would fit well both themes.
Saddened by the loss of her mother, the little girl tries to paint a colorful world with her mother on it but as she falls asleep, she gets transported into this dreamy world of her drawings, but now tainted by darkness.
But her mother (bubble lady) will show her the way to save her world, give her the strength to face her new life without her, and for one last time, show just how much she loved her.
Link(s) of the submission on streaming services
https://soundcloud.com/kevin-fernandes-878873752/tsuya-main-theme
Number of tracks1
Genre
Soundtrack use permission
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Comments
Such a beautiful piece! The beginning is amazingly subtle and pretty. Your transitions and emotional swells are fantastic and I really like the worldbuilding this track does on its own. Amazingly well done!
Thank you for taking the time to listen after the jam, I really appreciate it!
Very nice, very soothing. Good Job.
Thank you :)
Oh... I finally got around to your wonderful soundtrack!
You made a wonderful and diverse soundtrack that pleases every little part of my soul! Excellent!
Definitely 5/5! Well done! Great job!
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...
...
Wait... did I get that right...
HOLY SH*T
YOU KILLED A LITTLE GIRL AND STUFFED HER IN A GIANT BUBBLE FOR A COVER ART? YOU ARE A MONSTER! YOU SHOULD BURN IN A CAULDRON FOR SUCH A GRAVE SIN! REPENT!
0/5. I'M CALLING THE POLICE!
😭😭😭
This is just truly gorgeous. Could feel the tugging in my chest the whole song. Just... beautiful.
Thank you so much for the kind words! Happy my work resonated with you :)
Finally getting around to rating you back😀.
Hearing prominent movement in 4ths/5ths in music, especially with the orchestral sound palette and the sequential nature of the melody you have in the Chorus parts always brings mind to the Emmerdale theme tune 😂.
Only thing I felt on my first listen was, that at 1:43 the impact of the arrangement pulling back would've been more powerful had it been just the solo piano, with the cello coming in a bit later (say, on the latter half of the interlude part), helping to build up to the repeat of the Chorus section (might just be my subjective opinion, so take with a grain salt 😅).
Really beautiful track, as I've probably said before on the discord, Really jealous of how in the hell you can make stuff like this only after a couple of months studying music 😀.
Thank you Iatu ❤️
I have no idea what Emmerdale is but I’ll look it to it lol.
1:43 that’s actually a great idea thank you for the feedback and could even make more sense visually (Miro notes)!!!
I talked about it a bit on the discord but being so new, I feel like I “rush” a bit and am afraid of pauses, silences or even in this case, commuting too hard on a slow down. That’s definitely something I need to get more comfortable!
lol thank you for the last words ahahaha I’m definitely happy with what I ended up with and summed up both my initial understanding of theory, and I guess my “logic” from listening to ost’s all day lol.
Yeah, i have same thing with rushing, and especially having too much stuff going on at once is a bad habit for me. That's one of the reasons i've been trying to adopt a sort of pomodoro technique with music, i.e taking breaks while working on a track so i can listen with "fresh ears" and hear what sounds off.
One of the best resources I've found to be really helpful on all parts of composing for me, have been Alan Belkin's mini "lectures" on YouTube. Some of the material might feel a bit dense at first, but he has some wonderful lectures on making transitions across parts work, climax parts feel fulfilling and other good stuff. He's teaching style of showing examples of different ways to accomplish things and some that don't really work, instead of just "do this or its bad" has really helped me understand some concepts.
The videos are sort of "companion" videos to his book, but you don't need the book to follow along (i don't have it, but intending to probably get it)
oh my god I love you!!!
Thanks for the YouTube reference, I’ll definitely check and binge that asap. Thank you!!!
Very pretty theme, the strings countermelodies go really well with it. I am not an expert but this sounds very well orchestrated. Amazing dynamic range, and you always change things up before fatigue sets in. Was a joy to listen to. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for the kind words! I’m happy you didn’t feel any fatigue listening to it, it was definitely one of the goals to keep momentum and some ebb and flow into the piece. Thanks!
What a composition! The strings and percussion particularly held so much power and energy! Absolutely fantastic job at crafting such an emotional, beautiful song with so much character and untold story. (The Miro Board was a great read and reference for your thoughts, thanks for sharing!)
Woooow so beautiful!!! I like how the melody and the mood changes through the track, your orchestration is amazing, the most emotional soundtrack that I've heard so far! This should be a movie :)
A ton of praise for what is essentially my first track ever ahahaha.
Thank you so much for the kind words <3
Cinématographique et émouvant. Trop beau et épique comment tu développes cette douce mélodie. J'y ressent la redécouverte d'un souvenir d'une mère aimante enfoui dans le coeur de la petite. Côté larme à l'oeil validé. Bravo !!!
Merci ça me touche :)
Et merci aussi d'avoir pris le temps de commenter!
As much as I like to talk about how emotional and wonderful the song is (like the fact you made this much emotion and storytelling in one single song is enough to be great), I would like to point out how well you analyzed the themes and how you presented it in such a clear and clean way with the board.
I can see how your thought process goes from the explanations and inspirations, mainly how you would think that the game would be a puzzle platformer with emotional storytelling like Celeste. The breakdown of even the title of the song "Tsuya" being part of your explanations show how well-researched are you to make this entire one song count. You did amazing with this track and you should be proud of it.
Now for music, I'm not sure where exactly you will put this in the game, would you put it at the climax of the story? the ending sequence of the game? you could even put it at the title screen as the main menu music lmao. Seeing how you talk and deconstruct the concepts is amazing and something I would strive for.
Amazing work, You deserve all the praise.
Thank you so much for such kind words!
So this is actually the introduction to the story, it's true that I didn't break that down properly but it's introducing the main motif which is the lullaby her mom sang to her.
For a breakdown:
Intro - We see the little girl drawing the little fish and bubbles, herself and some kind of silhouette.
Section A - We cut and go straight to the wake, it's raining, there are some cuts of some joyous moments of her and a woman we can't really see the face of, and we cut back to different moments of the wake, where we finally get to see the little girl.
Before Section A finishes - We cut back to the drawing and see droplets falling on the drawing.
Section B - We see the little girl crying in a somewhat dark room surrounding her little desk with a tiny lamp barely strong enough to light her drawing and her face, alone and in despair. We start seeing some parts of her drawing moving. Transition to black.
Section C - We see her as the drawing in the darkness, like floating / swimming. She sees a the silhouette and tries to reach her and struggles to do so.
Section C (part 2) - She reaches her and the silhouette takes the little girl in her arms and the darkness fades away a little bit, the drawing start to come to life and bubbles appear, some fish, around both her and the silhouette. But as the Section C ends, the silhouette stops hugging the little girl and start being like pulled by by a current, so do the bubbles and fish. The silhouette manages to split a part of her, as a bubble and give it to the little girl before being taken away.
Before Section C finishes - The world around the little girl starts getting dark again and the bubbles and fish flow with the silhouette away from her. She cries out with despair one last time before we fade to black again.
Section D / Outro - We see the little girl on a dark background slowly falling down the screen as she falls deeper and deeper into what seems to be bottomless darkness. And as the last few notes are heard, we see her slowly lying down on an invisible floor, with the bubble still in her hand. The last note we zoom unto the bubble, the remnants of her mother, that she will carry throughout her adventures, acting as a compass (as all parents should) and as a way to solve puzzles and other gameplay related elements (a kid must find his own solutions, but a parent should always be there to help out when needed).
I will probably add this to my devlog as it's true I wasn't fully clear on what was exactly the images I had in my mind. There's a lot of direct references to impermanence that make sense to me (it haunts me really) and I hope it makes it clearer where this song it supposed to happen.
Like I said, the lullaby was supposed to be the leitmotiv on all tracks in a way. "A Strange New World" is track 2 of the OST I was planning before having to ditch it for lack of time, and would be her waking up in this new world of hers. The first notes would be the leitmotiv "lullaby" played on Basses as pizzicato notes to have a somewhat playful and mysterious connotation. That's about as much as I had planned overall!
Thanks for bringing it up. And thank you again for so many kind words! It means the world that you liked my interpretation, as it's pretty close to my heart!
the fact that you were able to go in depth through each section of the song speaks volumes of how much love and effort you put into making this one track.
For the imaginary game, I could imagine that you managed to integrate the puzzle solving mechanics with the storytelling by making the silhouette as some sort of guide giving hints to the child protagonist.
The fact that you witheld that the silhouette was actually her mother on your description recontextualizes that she was suffering from grief and that the journey that the protagonist will go through was actually about acceptance.
That even in death, the mother still looks after her children. That she'll be with her throughout her journey.
The message is absolutely heart wenching, and i could imagine what a great game it could be from the soundtrack alone. The fact you created a link between the gameplay and the storytelling is peak. For a song used for the intro scene, it does leave a sepctacular first impression.
Thanks for the reply, I really appreciate it.
Thank you for going through more of my ramblings ahaha
Thank you for all the sweet praise, I'm really happy you got to see and feel the vision I had for the whole complete project, it was the most important to me, as being new to everything music, I knew that I also just couldn't rely on the music alone quality-wise xD
You made my day thanks again!
That buildup to the dropout was *chef's kiss* magnifique! The piece had a really good flow to it and it was composed really well. I wanted to hear that high piano ring out over the rest of the orchestra in that buildup at 1:20, but it got buried by the strings a little bit. Or have the piano part double up an octave higher or lower to give the melody some extra punch and differentiate it from the rest of the piano sections. Overall this was a really moving piece. Well done!
Hey thanks a ton for the feedback!
There was minimal mixing done due to both lack of time and knowledge. Currently going through a course on mixing & mastering and will revisit Tsuya after the jam.
Thickening the piano an octave higher I didn’t think though thanks for the tip!
A truly emotional and epic piece of music. You did an amazing job :)
Thank you so much for the kind words!!
Congratulations on your work, very beautiful and full of emotion. I liked how you orchestrated and developed the piece.
Thank you Ednar. Coming from you I'm happy you liked it :)
This was beautiful!!! You conveyed the somber/fragile feeling really well with the piano, loved it!!
Thank you for the kind words :)
I'm really happy you got the right vibe from my work!
this got me flOaTinG great stuff bru! 🌲
Thanks <3
I'm finally here! Now let's get into this!
good
xDDDDDDDDD
The journey that your piece took me on was magical, loved this!
Thank you so much for listening and commenting. Happy you liked it :)
Wowwww the quality is insane! Im in love with the piano throughout it's composed so well!
The mixing is great too, I loved hearing the powerful brass instruments on the right and the strings on the left, made it felt like a real orchestra was playing it!
That epic section at 1:15 is amazing... so much power and emotion to it its insane, and then the de-escalation of it was done so gracefully
Remarkable work, best of luck to you!
Thank you for taking the time to listen and comment, really appreciate it :)
So, you said that you have the same issues as me, but i feel like your execution was actually much cleaner than mine! I did enjoy this composition so very nice on that.
The mixing and mastering will definitely take some time to learn, but I know we got this!
Definitely much to learn! Thanks for your feedback :)
I really like the harmony, layering and overall the entire piece. The dramatic parts capture the more tragic side of her being in that world incredibly well. Great instrument choices and wonderful use of dynamics/the changing volume in your music! :)
Thank your for the super kind words and for taking the time to listen and comment, it's really appreciated!