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Tsuya - OST Jam 07's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Correlation to theme | #37 | 4.173 | 4.173 |
| Composition | #43 | 4.141 | 4.141 |
| Overall | #61 | 3.979 | 3.979 |
| Impression | #64 | 3.948 | 3.948 |
| Quality | #95 | 3.995 | 3.995 |
| Creativity | #224 | 3.639 | 3.639 |
Ranked from 191 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Judge feedback
Judge feedback is anonymous.
- The overall structure is nicely defined— I love how this opens with that absolutely beautiful flute/piano duet. The introduction of strings is nicely handled and feels sensible and organic, and it builds beautifully into the full statement. Very nicely handled, and has that sense of inevitability that is sometimes very difficult to achieve— excellent work. The C#/Db in the solo violin part at 1:46 does somewhat stick out to me. While I like the idea of increasing the harmonic complexity, something about this particular note doesn’t quite sit right to my ears— I think perhaps because it is at the top of the dynamic peak it pokes out quite a bit. Having said that, this is only a small critique insofar as I think a live player would certainly be able to pull it off by tucking it in a bit— to the extent possible it might be worth trying to get the sample to not make that note protrude quite so much— I certainly can understand *why* you’d like this particular note here (it seems to fit with the overall harmonic idea you’ve developed), the execution in the moment I think needs a bit of smoothing out. Your string writing sounds wonderful, and I think it could be further enhanced by trying to liven up individual string lines *as lines* rather than just chords. You’ve chosen lovely chords to go along with your melody, now try to use that structure as something that can be a framework for arpeggiated chordal textures in say, the cello, or “rocking” figures in the violas, etc. From a production perspective, I do feel like the reverb effects are a touch aggressive for my taste, especially on the piano. Having said that, I love some of the effects you’ve put on the piano, especially those that give it that “snap-back” sound. Very nicely implemented. I love how you bring up the overall density and dynamics after the violin solo, letting us seamlessly segue back into a more soaring string statement— I was expecting the piece to sort of die down after the solo violin section, so it was a pleasant surprise to hear such a nicely-rendered set of ideas here. Based on your notes, I can see how this illustrates that you could adapt your composition to the flow of the story. Overall lovely work that I think definitely achieves what you were attempting to execute!
Description
Orchestral song.
More detail on the page of the submission or in this Miro link:
https://miro.com/app/board/uXjVKzVwkVc=/?share_link_id=923033516824
Message from the artist
https://miro.com/app/board/uXjVKzVwkVc=/?share_link_id=923033516824
Here is a Miro board with my thoughts.
thank you!
Theme
How does it fit the theme?
Impermanence:
Examining the picture, we can see a little girl in a yukata smiling while holding the hand of what seems like a maternal figure (mom, grandma?), so immediately the theme in Japan (a country I would love to visit for its cultural richness and vistas).
I had some thoughts about the text theme "inside my world", and thought that maybe the bubble-shaped lady could be in the imaginative and boundless world of creativity of this kid.
But even if there is a lot of happiness with the girl smiling from ear to ear and the cute, drawn fish, bubbles, and algae, to me it's still reads as something quite tragic.
Bubbles are by essence, one of the flimsiest physical events that I can think of.
When formed they can seemingly pop randomly and almost immediately, and in the mind of a child, they just cease to exist.
They are the beautiful, but ephemeral, the physical manifestation of impermanence.
In a way, they are a good image for life itself, a fragile and provisional state of existence that we are all bound to.
This picture paints, for me, the beautiful imaginative world of a little girl who is, in a way, connecting one last time with a recently deceased mother/grandmother.
Tsuya:
A Japanese wake is called tsuya which means "passing the night".
I think having this be the starting event of this story would fit well both themes.
Saddened by the loss of her mother, the little girl tries to paint a colorful world with her mother on it but as she falls asleep, she gets transported into this dreamy world of her drawings, but now tainted by darkness.
But her mother (bubble lady) will show her the way to save her world, give her the strength to face her new life without her, and for one last time, show just how much she loved her.
Link(s) of the submission on streaming services
https://soundcloud.com/kevin-fernandes-878873752/tsuya-main-theme
Number of tracks1
Genre
Soundtrack use permission
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Comments
aaaaa kev i’ve finally made it around to your ost! this theme is just absolutely beautiful. your arrangement and melody writing is incredibly elegant. im getting major joe hisaishi vibes! reading your miro board, i love all of the thought you put into your song. the analysis of the photo you did is really cool! good stuff kev!!
You made my day thank youuuuuuuu!!!
I’m super happy you liked it even a little bit ❤️
i loved it! ❤️
Something very calm develops into something dramatic, painful, and like being struck in the heart. I like it!
Thank you ❤️
I like the duality of the piano and the flute in the beginning, it allows for nice characterization. I also like when the piano is given silence along the track to show the repetition of the motif you gave the flute. I think your chord progressions are great at achieving the emotions you wanted, and the strings and piano execute these well. The dynamic range is also impressive, It really adds a lot to the track. The transitions from the percussion instruments are also really nice and help the track ease into the sudden new volumes. While I would like to give some feedback on mixing, I believe others have given good advice already. If I had to say one thing, when you start using EQ more, I find it helpful to think of it as setting an illusion of the full instrument to the listener, it will free up a lot of space while still keeping a nice sound. I hope my feedback is helpful, I tend to struggle with giving feedback like the latter half of it. This was a nice listen and it was very emotional, Great work!
Thank you that's super helpful feedback. There was essentially no mixing done other than panning and a limiter (lack of time, but also to tbh lack of skills so even with time that wouldn't have helped ahaha).
Thank you for taking the time to listen and give comment, means a ton!
I didn’t fully understand your comment until now. I now get what you meant by EQ giving the illusion of an instrument. Indeed I was able to cut quite a lot of frequencies that weren’t need on a couple of the instruments already, thanks again!
Yes certainly, I hope my advice is still somewhat helpful though! You did a phenomenal job with this piece, I saw you mention somewhere you wanted some good feedback so I included something a little more neutral than I would normally give feedback on. I look forward to seeing how your music evolves over your musical journey!
Yes super helpful and I really appreciate you taking the time to give me the other feedback for the overall track. Thank you!!
I really reallllly enjoy how it slowly develops and then the dynamics get to FFF for a super emotional moment and come back down again, It's really a good payoff . My only two pieces of advice will be to bring a bit to the front the flute in the beginning since (I think) it carries the weight of the melody when the orchestra is quiet and also to lower the vol of the piano comp/counter-melodies when the orchestra is starting to take over.
Thank you! I am definitely revisiting this with some volume automation and mixing work after the jam, thank you for your great feedback!
Nice! I love the flute and strings. Very moving! Oh my goodness, this song is so moving! So much emotion and heart! I love it.
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I’m glad you enjoyed it even one bit!
Your welcome! It really is a special song you have made here. I enjoyed it very much. Thank you for sharing and joining the Jam!
What an epic track. The buildup was amazing!
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen and comment, means a ton 🙏
Very nice orchestration and emotions, great job!
Thank you very much for taking the time to listen and give me your feedback. Appreciate it!
Wow just beautiful! The streaming link seems to be down but I just downloaded the track and listened to it that way : ) The way the melody evolves and brings in the other instruments is so well done and the mixing and mastering strike such a good balance between the harmony! A gorgeous OST!
Thank you so much for your super kind words!
It's weird that you'd say the link doesn't work, but might be because I actually changed my account name on Soundcloud and didn't think of the consequences! Thanks for letting me know I'll try to revert the changes.
Again thank you for going through the extra hassle and taking the time to comment! It means a lot!
Okay it works again, thank god you told me ahaha
Anytime dude : ) Glad to see it working now!
great soundtrack epic kind and melancholy.
Thank you!
You mentioned in you design document that you were trying to really sell happiness, sadness, and melancholy, and you really did do just that. You packed so much into one track, it feels like when you go to a bakery and pick up one single item that completely fulfills the expectations you had for it. Really really awesome stuff!
Thank you so much for your kind words, especially coming for you it's a treat :)
Happy you enjoyed it even a small bit! And also thank you for taking the time to listen, rate, comment and read the devlog, it means a lot!
Also just shared your submission again with everyone on Discord, hopefully more attention comes your way!
Dude you're so kind, thank you! 😭
Absolutely deserved!
A really strong piece of music! The harmony is, just like you said, very pretty and colorful, and the melodies are emotional and memorable!
I feel like you were definitely able to express the story you wanted through this track, and did so masterfully. I can really hear the different emotions throughout the track, and that's a very impressive feat to achieve!
I also really appreciate the "blog" you made explaining your thought process. It's always great when artists let us see behind the scenes.
This is a great submission!
I wouldn't call myself an artist with a month and a half of learning music theory and orchestral stuff ahaha
But thank you and really happy that you got through that wall of text that is the devlog!! Thank you so much for taking the time to rate and comment, I really appreciate it!!
I think an artist is anyone who creates things for the purpose of expression, so I think this would definitely qualify you as one!
An no problem! One of the many great parts of these jams is listening to other people's submissions!
Thank you for your kind words, with your point of view then it makes more sense <3
Loved this. Has some real old-school cinematic flair with a lot of emotion. Great work!
Thank you, I just about learned music theory composition etc since June, so it's funny how many people tell me this sounds like 70/80 orchestral cinematic music hahah. Thanks for giving it a listen and commenting :)
As many others in this comments section have said, this is absolutely incredible! You have a real talent for orchestration - it's so dramatic and full of emotion, your composition is beautiful, this is such unbelievably fantastic work for someone who only started learning in June!! Keep going with this!
Wow thank you for the amazing feedback and encouragement!! You made my day <3
This will be in the top 20. It's moving and cinematic. The central melody is powerful. This composition remembers me of some particular 70/80s movie orchestral scores.
Check out "For Love One Can Die" by Ennio Morricone.
Also, check out "Blue Ridge Mountains" by Fleet Foxes, you'll know why!
I wouldn’t feel it’s warranted as I’ve started the journey of learning piano, music theory and composition only since June. But thanks you so much for your incredibly kind words.
Also it’s crazy to me, my brother who’s a big movie buff told me the exact same thing about Ennio Morricon a day ago which is crazy because I only ever heard the most famous « whistle » song from him. I’m going to bed but I’m definitely checking out the two tracks you linked!
Thank you again for taking the time to listen and comment, I’m going to sleep with a smile 😊
Love this composition! You used the instruments beautifully, and the build-up made the powerful moments in the song hit that much harder! The piece is just filled with a sense of wonder and melancholy, and I can’t wait to see what you make next. Great job!
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen and give your feedback. And thank you for the kind words :)
This is an utterly amazing compososition! You perfectly convey a melancholic nostalgia, this has to be my favourite among the ones I have heard! Very well done!
You made my day thank you very very much!
I’ll make sure to check your ost, I’m at 189 ratings done, there are still so many gems I missed ahaha
Beautiful.
The orchestra swiftly tugs the string of hearts in so many ways.
Be proud and stand tall.
Yes Sir!! (Thank you for your encouragments <3)
Beautiful piece I like how the music toke me through the story, really solid and well structured composition. For me fits perfectly with your vission.
Congrats!
Thank you!! Really happy you liked it! The theme was indeed really important for me :)
I love how very, very simple this piece is. Truly goes to show just how much emotion one can convey, simply with a piano melody and strings. Beautiful!
Thank you! It being simple is mostly because that's all I'm capable of right now (first composition since I started a month and a half ago).
But I'm happy it still conveyed the right emotions :
Absolutely gorgeous! The emotions were perfect, and I loved how the instrumentation built and faded so that all the melody had the chance to shine. Just beautiful!
As a harper, I love a good rippled arpeggio too - very very well done!