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Tsuya - OST Jam 07's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Correlation to theme | #37 | 4.173 | 4.173 |
| Composition | #43 | 4.141 | 4.141 |
| Overall | #61 | 3.979 | 3.979 |
| Impression | #64 | 3.948 | 3.948 |
| Quality | #95 | 3.995 | 3.995 |
| Creativity | #224 | 3.639 | 3.639 |
Ranked from 191 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Judge feedback
Judge feedback is anonymous.
- The overall structure is nicely defined— I love how this opens with that absolutely beautiful flute/piano duet. The introduction of strings is nicely handled and feels sensible and organic, and it builds beautifully into the full statement. Very nicely handled, and has that sense of inevitability that is sometimes very difficult to achieve— excellent work. The C#/Db in the solo violin part at 1:46 does somewhat stick out to me. While I like the idea of increasing the harmonic complexity, something about this particular note doesn’t quite sit right to my ears— I think perhaps because it is at the top of the dynamic peak it pokes out quite a bit. Having said that, this is only a small critique insofar as I think a live player would certainly be able to pull it off by tucking it in a bit— to the extent possible it might be worth trying to get the sample to not make that note protrude quite so much— I certainly can understand *why* you’d like this particular note here (it seems to fit with the overall harmonic idea you’ve developed), the execution in the moment I think needs a bit of smoothing out. Your string writing sounds wonderful, and I think it could be further enhanced by trying to liven up individual string lines *as lines* rather than just chords. You’ve chosen lovely chords to go along with your melody, now try to use that structure as something that can be a framework for arpeggiated chordal textures in say, the cello, or “rocking” figures in the violas, etc. From a production perspective, I do feel like the reverb effects are a touch aggressive for my taste, especially on the piano. Having said that, I love some of the effects you’ve put on the piano, especially those that give it that “snap-back” sound. Very nicely implemented. I love how you bring up the overall density and dynamics after the violin solo, letting us seamlessly segue back into a more soaring string statement— I was expecting the piece to sort of die down after the solo violin section, so it was a pleasant surprise to hear such a nicely-rendered set of ideas here. Based on your notes, I can see how this illustrates that you could adapt your composition to the flow of the story. Overall lovely work that I think definitely achieves what you were attempting to execute!
Description
Orchestral song.
More detail on the page of the submission or in this Miro link:
https://miro.com/app/board/uXjVKzVwkVc=/?share_link_id=923033516824
Message from the artist
https://miro.com/app/board/uXjVKzVwkVc=/?share_link_id=923033516824
Here is a Miro board with my thoughts.
thank you!
Theme
How does it fit the theme?
Impermanence:
Examining the picture, we can see a little girl in a yukata smiling while holding the hand of what seems like a maternal figure (mom, grandma?), so immediately the theme in Japan (a country I would love to visit for its cultural richness and vistas).
I had some thoughts about the text theme "inside my world", and thought that maybe the bubble-shaped lady could be in the imaginative and boundless world of creativity of this kid.
But even if there is a lot of happiness with the girl smiling from ear to ear and the cute, drawn fish, bubbles, and algae, to me it's still reads as something quite tragic.
Bubbles are by essence, one of the flimsiest physical events that I can think of.
When formed they can seemingly pop randomly and almost immediately, and in the mind of a child, they just cease to exist.
They are the beautiful, but ephemeral, the physical manifestation of impermanence.
In a way, they are a good image for life itself, a fragile and provisional state of existence that we are all bound to.
This picture paints, for me, the beautiful imaginative world of a little girl who is, in a way, connecting one last time with a recently deceased mother/grandmother.
Tsuya:
A Japanese wake is called tsuya which means "passing the night".
I think having this be the starting event of this story would fit well both themes.
Saddened by the loss of her mother, the little girl tries to paint a colorful world with her mother on it but as she falls asleep, she gets transported into this dreamy world of her drawings, but now tainted by darkness.
But her mother (bubble lady) will show her the way to save her world, give her the strength to face her new life without her, and for one last time, show just how much she loved her.
Link(s) of the submission on streaming services
https://soundcloud.com/kevin-fernandes-878873752/tsuya-main-theme
Number of tracks1
Genre
Soundtrack use permission
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Comments
Your soundtrack is fantastic! It perfectly captures the emotional depth and impermanence theme of the story. If i can say something, maybe you should work on making your instruments feem more "human", maybe different velocities and timings on the MIDI tracks, so it wouldn't feel too robotic. If its really your first time i'm really impressed, Great work really ! I also love the story, it shows that you really put a lot of effort into it!
Thank you so much for the feedback! I did not really quantize anything BUT I did literally 0 dynamics work and velocity changes so it makes sense it sounds really artificial.
I’ll definitely update Tsuya in a few days/week with some more work and integrate all feedback I got including yours. Thanks a ton!
i love your work and your ideas, i want to see more of your music !!
Thank you for the kind words, can't wait <3
This is so fire dude!
Thanks a ton!
What a lovely chord progressions, its a nice start for beginner composer, the orchestration is really cool :) the violin is a bit unsettling at 1 45.
Looks like a theme and variations.
Overall good job ^^
Ahahaha yeah that Cello dissonant pitch was everything to me, I really wanted to keep it there, I felt the dichotomy between the piano part and the Cello part worked well to sell the unsettling feeling like you said :)
Thank you for the very nice comments, hoping to get better as i go!
Buddy, you come to my submission with all those kind words about reaching my level and you submitted THIS!? This is fantastic!! I should be the one learning from you haha.
The orchestration is emotive and evocative, the arrangement keeps it fresh and interesting, the sounds you used are extremely high quality, and it really hammers home the feeling you were going for.
As a side note, your pfp on SoundCloud looks like you're whistling, and I looked at it right as the flute came in, so it looked like you were whistling the flute part. I give you 10/10 for that alone ;D
You are absolutely crazy, my work is a far cry from what you've done ahahaha
Thank you for the extremely kind words, I've been at it for a month and binging on Music Theory stuff on Youtube so tried to apply what I learned in a way, so happy it came out well.
You killed me with the pfp story, can't unsee it now. 13/10 cursed knowledge unlocked xDD
Yo, a MONTH?! You're gonna win this shit by next year lol
Aahhaha thanks but highly unlikely, I've listened to stuff that's out of this world already, everyone is super talented it's insane lol!
Great music! The harmony in the beginning does well to capture a sense of childlike wonder and intrigue, and the orchestration fits the picture well. It would fit really well into a game, complementing and letting the art breathe. If I could offer one piece of constructive criticism, it would be to change up the chord pattern a bit, just to add some more obvious contrast, although I understand it's a main theme and shouldn't be too complicated. Great work!
Thank you so much, this is my first composition & orchestration with a month of experience and only had saturday and sunday to work on it. I was sad that I had to cut 2 whole phrases and a few bridges I had in mind, as well as being forced to copy paste some parts around at some point.
You're the second person telling me about this, and I'm definitely updating Tsuya a bit later to make sure I can clean it up with all the awesome feedback.
Thank you for the criticism, I am really looking forward to implement all these feedbacks I'm getting and grow!
Beautiful flute and orchestration!
Thank you <3
Fantastic composition! Tsuya is filled with so much emotion, you’ve done an amazing job having the piano and strings play off each other with tension and release. Really enjoyed this track, well done!
Thank you for the super kind words!
I maxed out on Emotivity as much as I could and the theme absolutely resonated with me so it made it easier too. Still ways to go, this is my first composition since I started learning everything from music theory, composition, orchestration and piano from the ground up last month. Excited by the feedback, can't wait to work on it a bit more and other related tracks I couldn't do for lack of time!
You have an amazing starting point as a composer as seen by your attentive ear, diligent production/planning, and arrangement skills. Very good arrangement section-wise, and you also have the appropriate inst. sections playing at the ranges they need. A very dynamic, Miyazaki-esque piece wtihin the realms of film and gaming.
As for constructive feedback to help you on your composer journey: (EVERYTHING IMO!!!!!!) (Sorry for word vomit)
I would've loved it you repeated that same intensity again at around 1:30 with the drums/cymbal, and maybe introduced a countermelody in one of the other instrument sections. It's intense at that moment, but it diminishes pretty fast afterwards. I think the brass does a good job selling the intensity at first, but you just needed a bit more expression within the brass arrangement. Your 2nd breakdown at (2:08) is pretty good, I would just add a solo bass instrument to help fill up space.
Also, when the section at 1:30 starts, you could use the piano to play the melody + ascending/descending arps to embellish the dynamics of the strings. In this instance, the piano is only playing the melody with the strings, but could be used to create a fuller, dramatic sound. Harp could work too, flute flutters, certain sections (within their range).
I think the stark volume difference from 1:40 to 1:43 is a little bit too much. In isolation, it sounds amazing, but examining the dynamic range of a piece is important to finetune for multimedia. You can play soft, but just have the instruments a bit more audible in those sections via automation. The timbre of the instruments should be able to replicate it well.
Overall, I think you executed your idea pretty well! I think you meticulously dissected the picture very successfully, and painted a soundscape fitting your theme of impermenance. I wish you luck, and I'm looking forward to your promising composing future :)
Thats a methodical, extensive way of saying « you got much to learn kiddo » and I’m 1000% here for it ❤️
Thank you for the superb review, this is EXACTLY what I was hoping for! Some things you said I was sure would be picked apart by someone as it bothered me, like the volume difference for example, I still have ways to go understanding volume from dynamics from expression in the context of using VST’s and a lot of other comments are gold.
I’ll definitely work on a new version with your input and some other things as well ( I had a whole other section that I had to strip because the lack of time). I also feel that there’s an overall lack of movement, all phrases being 8 bars. I’d like to have just a bit of variety maybe with some bridges between some phrases, etc.
I also have to look at how to do decent arpeggios with the tools I have because I’m just too bad at piano for now to do it myself ahahah.
Would you consider going for another listening round after the changes? I would love your input!
Thank you for all the kind words of encouragement, this is super new to me so it feels nice to see that I’m on the right track at least!
Sure, I’m down to listen to it again after the changes, feel free to contact me via discord (sm3rki) or on here whenever! Understanding all these intricacies just comes with time and effort; you’re at the phase where every composition is a learning process, so don’t be afraid to keep creating!
Definitely, I’m thinking of doing the 2 extra tracks I had in mind that also drastically change the mood of the music to something else entirely for learning purposes. I’ll be sure to hit you up when I have something done on this and other stuff. Your review was really invaluable!
Great arrangement! Checked out the miroboard and knew I was in for a treat when I saw how detail-oriented and aware it is. Very evocative piece; as others have mentioned, a story told through music. Super solid entry, I wish you the best of luck!
Thank you for the super kind words. I had five days to really think the theme through and 2 days to compose so definitely all the effort went on the theme 🤣
There is a 2 sections missing from the story because of lack of time, but I’m happy it still goes through well! Hopefully adding them after the jam will make it a bit better, also adding great feedback I gathered!
Will check your entry ASAP!
Some colorful natural 6 use in the melody right off the bat. My weakness lol. This is so expressive and pretty. In that loudest section, love the 2-5-1 in the relative major that then takes a secondary dominant back to the minor tonic. That section added a very pleasant touch of brightness while still remaining emotional. And then the pretty Dorian comes back in that piano ending.
For being new this is incredible! Would have thought you had years of experience. Great work!
Okay I kind of jumped in excitement when starting to read! You did not disappoint with the dissection of the track 😆! Thank you so much for the comment, I’m happy what I was going for translated well and that all the color and the transitions between all these temporary switches between minor, major, and use of secondary dominant got the right effect.
Thank you for the super kind words, I’m really happy to have given it a try after a month of music theory binging I can at least confirm now that I learned some stuff properly on the way 😊
Very cool composition! Reminds me a lot of the pre-2000s anime style but with a more modern ghibli-esque take
Thanks, I do be old like that so it makes sense 😂 ! Thanks for taking the time to listen!
Absolutely beautiful in its composition! Really envoked a Miyazaki-esque style which is by no means an easy feat. Great Job!
Thank you for the kind words! I’m really happy you thought it was in that Miyazaki realm :)
Wow, what a beautiful story told through music! I love how you take us through so many different emotional states in this piece. It's truly a journey, and I enjoyed it every step of the way. Great job!
Thank you very much! I'm happy you and others got to feel somewhat how I felt when writing about this theme of impermanence, loss, grief, joy, all emotions bundled together in a way that makes sense for us all I think in a way. I can't believe the theme felt so at home with me, it resonated instantly and took me 5 minutes to write what the theme was really about.
Thank you for listening and your kind words, it's super encouraging!
I love where you went with the jam's theme, you've really fleshed out the story and it's well represented in your music. It's very cinematic, great work!
Thank you! Super happy the feeling I wanted to come across worked and I did think for 5 days about the theme as I couldn’t work on the submission other than this weekend xD
So yeah Impermanence resonates a ton with me, it literally jumped out of the picture instantly. Harder to represent it though :)
Thanks for your comment!
This is an amazing composition. So emotionally striking, and its clear that you spent a lot of time thinking about the prompt. It's such a fully fleshed out song, with many powerful sections. Definitely one of my favorite submissions.
Thank you so much! Coming from you it’s an actual honor!
Yeah I definitely worked the theme more than anything else due to my super limited knowledge still and quite frankly complete inaptitude to do piano with any of my two hands lol (for now hopefully 🤣)
The theme did inform most of my decisions though, impermanence as a philosophical matter is actually something I struggle with personally so it resonated a ton with me.
Happy I got to make people feel what I was feeling while making this!
Wow, that was amazing! You captured so many emotions here, while still making it fit together so well! And for only starting composition last month, this is crazy impressive.
Thank you so much, I have been hardcore binging music theory content and bought a course on film composition because I really wanted to learn it. I’ve been dreaming of this for so long and at 35 it felt I had to start lol.
So I’m really happy all the emotions and deliberate « confusion » around them did come out well.
A lot of studying music theory again on how to express emotions through, scales, colour pitches, secondary dominants, it’s crazy how much I learned since I started this endeavor in June thanks to YouTube mostly! We live in amazing times ❤️
If you’re new to this, I’d never know! You clearly have a good musical ear. You’ve definitely composed a very lovely piece that is both delicate and epic at the same time. Your chord choices in some of the more bare sections very much give BotW, you vaptured a really beautiful post-Romantic sound with this one. Great work!
Thank you so much this is incredibly high praise. I do listen to a ton of OST mainly so that’s where the musical hear might have come from ahahah.
I started composition in June and piano 2 weeks ago (bought my first one on purpose to learn to compose, a splurge on the NI S61 for a first ahahaha)
So I’m really happy the feelings came across!
Fantastic, keep it up!
I was amazed by your composition. You said you are new to this, but damn! xD You did a good job! I don't know what to say, to be honest, but my tears almost fell while I was listening to your OST and smiling at the same time (I'm not really good to give feedback :3) Anyway, great work! ❤
oh god thank you!
melancholy, sadness and happiness entertwined was really what I wanted to get so I’m so happy you felt that way thank you!
i started learning a month ago and bought a piano 3 weeks ago so I’m super new to all this but I’m happy the feeling I was going were there at least!
This is my first composition ever since I started learning piano and VST a month ago. I tried my best to have something even though this was probably the worst week ever for me to try something like this :).
Please, do comment on things you would have done differently. I'm still learning! Thank you so much!