The dungeon with the mix of key'd and procgen rooms is a unique approach that I really enjoyed. Kine counter tick box was a nice little touch. I though the layout of the stat blocks for monsters was unique and worked well. A lot to enjoy here and the procgen element gives it some added replayability.
I could literally run this right now after reading it which is the mark of a great one-shot in my opinion. Layout is perfect for a shot. The scroll from the Abbot at the beginning is a nice touch. Great work.
Love the clickable music links, although I'm not sure about the longevity of such links, I do really enjoy you included that here. I use Bardify in so many of my games as a DM too.
I really enjoyed The Red River Run, it's a well written and organized adventure. The river travel mechanics on the back of a Ooze are fantastic. It's got a lot of content for the page limit, definitely something I'd run at my table. I know this probably doesn't matter, but man I love the title font and color on the front cover :)
I thought the layout was very well designed here and the art was fantastic. That little dungeon map for the Harvest Temple is one of my favorites of the Jam for sure. Some smart design choices in the adventure relating to making the Hex map a bit more difficult to travel, and having the the catacombs being generated from a table rather than another dungeon map. Love the little printables too!
I feel like I could pick up and run this dungeon right away. Good room descriptions, good use of traps and puzzles. I think the one thing I was missing was bit in the way of introduction, was the nature of the dungeon meant to be open ended?
Overall concept of the story is good. Some good monsters at the end. I couldn't read some of the numbers on your map without zooming in, just something to note on that front.
The side view map you did is really good, helped me really picture the environment. I think you did a good job of incorporating multiple paths forward as others have stated. Setting feels vast from the narrative you provided. I enjoyed reading it.
I really enjoyed how you concretely laid out the purpose for the adventure and its uses out of the gate. Some great tables at the end. The mutation and artifact generator are fun, and I enjoyed the scalability of the adventure you incorporated via the Hive Layout Generator. Appendix N reference was not lost on me. Honey Golem sounds deadly and delicious, had a blast just picturing my players trying to slay the monster by eating it.
I think from a design perspective I found the yellow text on white background difficult, but I have some contrast issues with my vision. Just wanted to point that out, maybe a black outline on that text to help?
Thanks for taking the time to read it. Appreciate the constructive feedback as well regarding layout. I struggled with the right term for that "Story Hooks and Lore" section, the goal was to provide some plot points you can inject in different places to help bring cohesion to the diverse dungeons to help with narrative if needed. Definitely something I'll think about in the future.
I like the inclusion of board game elements with the adventure. Locations have some good flavor, and the layout was easy to follow for me. Good work here.
First thing that jumped out at me was your inclusion of a brief blurb about how the tower could be included in any setting. I liked that, it immediately got me as a DM thinking about how i could incorporate this into other settings.
Your writing has a very classic TTRPG vibe to it, comes across as intelligent and thoughtful. The setting itself is very interesting, and it feels wonderous and dangerous.
Ok, so full disclosure I didn't expect to like this as much as I did, but as I read through it, well, it's just so damn fun. My face was in a permanent smirk the entire time while reading and I think it would actually be a great change of pace from the darker fantasy I'm used to running with my groups sometimes. I liked how you wrote from the perspective of some of the characters as well.
Let's just start out by saying the art is really quite incredible, and just the overall presentation is so top notch. The locations are all well thought out and very interesting, a lot of little details that made me smile at their cleverness.
The intro in sort of a timeline format is helpful for setting the scene, really enjoyed that a lot. There's a lot of monster stat blocks tossed in here which is good to see, Sentient Vines are my favorite :)
The Aftermath section really bookends the adventure. Helps me see as a DM where all these possible interesting locations can lead and gives me some solid ideas that help make the adventure more concrete in my mind.
I have no skills for drawing, so using some of these tools (Watabou, Inkarnate, Dungeon Scrawl) were essential for me, and have become tremendous assets for me as a DM. I didn't want the inclusion of work done in these tools to detract from the authenticity, so I'm very happy to hear that was the case with you.
Thanks for taking the time to read through the adventure, it's appreciated.
I appreciate you taking the time to read my adventure. I'm glad so many of those points landed for you. I think it helps that I'm relatively new to running OSR games, so some of the writing definitely carried that perspective.
I like the layout how you sort of put the room and everything needed for that room on the same page. Makes it easy to navigate. Treasure Cannon is a great monster :)
The narrative hook in the introduction is gripping and compelling, it made me want to read the rest of the adventure. Love the little NPC generator at the end as well, that's a nice touch.
The concept for the story of going into someone's mind to combat against various mental health challenges is really, really interesting. The 80's vibe is appreciated.
I really like how this is organized organized, after the first read I feel like I just have to come up with a couple of stat blocks here and I could run this right now :)
