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Tsuya - OST Jam 07's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Correlation to theme | #37 | 4.173 | 4.173 |
| Composition | #43 | 4.141 | 4.141 |
| Overall | #61 | 3.979 | 3.979 |
| Impression | #64 | 3.948 | 3.948 |
| Quality | #95 | 3.995 | 3.995 |
| Creativity | #224 | 3.639 | 3.639 |
Ranked from 191 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Judge feedback
Judge feedback is anonymous.
- The overall structure is nicely defined— I love how this opens with that absolutely beautiful flute/piano duet. The introduction of strings is nicely handled and feels sensible and organic, and it builds beautifully into the full statement. Very nicely handled, and has that sense of inevitability that is sometimes very difficult to achieve— excellent work. The C#/Db in the solo violin part at 1:46 does somewhat stick out to me. While I like the idea of increasing the harmonic complexity, something about this particular note doesn’t quite sit right to my ears— I think perhaps because it is at the top of the dynamic peak it pokes out quite a bit. Having said that, this is only a small critique insofar as I think a live player would certainly be able to pull it off by tucking it in a bit— to the extent possible it might be worth trying to get the sample to not make that note protrude quite so much— I certainly can understand *why* you’d like this particular note here (it seems to fit with the overall harmonic idea you’ve developed), the execution in the moment I think needs a bit of smoothing out. Your string writing sounds wonderful, and I think it could be further enhanced by trying to liven up individual string lines *as lines* rather than just chords. You’ve chosen lovely chords to go along with your melody, now try to use that structure as something that can be a framework for arpeggiated chordal textures in say, the cello, or “rocking” figures in the violas, etc. From a production perspective, I do feel like the reverb effects are a touch aggressive for my taste, especially on the piano. Having said that, I love some of the effects you’ve put on the piano, especially those that give it that “snap-back” sound. Very nicely implemented. I love how you bring up the overall density and dynamics after the violin solo, letting us seamlessly segue back into a more soaring string statement— I was expecting the piece to sort of die down after the solo violin section, so it was a pleasant surprise to hear such a nicely-rendered set of ideas here. Based on your notes, I can see how this illustrates that you could adapt your composition to the flow of the story. Overall lovely work that I think definitely achieves what you were attempting to execute!
Description
Orchestral song.
More detail on the page of the submission or in this Miro link:
https://miro.com/app/board/uXjVKzVwkVc=/?share_link_id=923033516824
Message from the artist
https://miro.com/app/board/uXjVKzVwkVc=/?share_link_id=923033516824
Here is a Miro board with my thoughts.
thank you!
Theme
How does it fit the theme?
Impermanence:
Examining the picture, we can see a little girl in a yukata smiling while holding the hand of what seems like a maternal figure (mom, grandma?), so immediately the theme in Japan (a country I would love to visit for its cultural richness and vistas).
I had some thoughts about the text theme "inside my world", and thought that maybe the bubble-shaped lady could be in the imaginative and boundless world of creativity of this kid.
But even if there is a lot of happiness with the girl smiling from ear to ear and the cute, drawn fish, bubbles, and algae, to me it's still reads as something quite tragic.
Bubbles are by essence, one of the flimsiest physical events that I can think of.
When formed they can seemingly pop randomly and almost immediately, and in the mind of a child, they just cease to exist.
They are the beautiful, but ephemeral, the physical manifestation of impermanence.
In a way, they are a good image for life itself, a fragile and provisional state of existence that we are all bound to.
This picture paints, for me, the beautiful imaginative world of a little girl who is, in a way, connecting one last time with a recently deceased mother/grandmother.
Tsuya:
A Japanese wake is called tsuya which means "passing the night".
I think having this be the starting event of this story would fit well both themes.
Saddened by the loss of her mother, the little girl tries to paint a colorful world with her mother on it but as she falls asleep, she gets transported into this dreamy world of her drawings, but now tainted by darkness.
But her mother (bubble lady) will show her the way to save her world, give her the strength to face her new life without her, and for one last time, show just how much she loved her.
Link(s) of the submission on streaming services
https://soundcloud.com/kevin-fernandes-878873752/tsuya-main-theme
Number of tracks1
Genre
Soundtrack use permission
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Comments
Beautifully sad piece, love it. Kept me entertained the whole time, felt like it's more that three minutes. Well crafted! :)
And still, it's missing 2 whole sections that i had planned for ahaha.
Thank you for the encouragment!
Wahhh... it's so sad, it feels like the old animes like Lady Oscar or something like that. Anyway, it's perfect... and as a beginner, I support you too.
Thank you for the support!
I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS WAS YOUR FIRST COMPOSITION ITS SO IMPRESSIVE. You already had dynamics, the instruments and sounds are nice. Overall it's an incredibly pleasant piece with emotions. From high highs to low lows. Amazing work! I NEED MORE FROM YOU SOON
WOW that's high praise! Thank you so much, I mean the instruments are nice coz i shelled out 1k€ on VST's I guess but still thank you!
I'm working on adding two sections that were left aside due to time constraints and just overall my lack of skills, but what I had in mind really completed this piece, so can't wait to update Tsuya! Thank you for the super kind words!
Fantastic submission, powerfully strong piece.
Thank you for the super kind words!
This is a Studio Ghibli style piece, which I think is perfect for the theme image. Made me question if I made the right choice making a space themed game OST.
The chord progressions in this piece were absolutely fire. I also really liked the communication between the piano, flute, and cello in the middle section. Also liked the use of orchestral drums in the latter half of the piece.
Would write more but got chemistry homework to do lol. Great piece.
GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK YOUNG MAN!
Jokes aside, thanks for the feedback. Really happy you liked the 3 sections having a conversation almost independently in the middle section, that was hard to achieve for me ahahah
Pretty orchestral piece, good arrangement, you put the right emotions at the right time, fantastic build up and ending. I think more clarity in the strings would pop even more and a tiny bit more bass during the climax would make this go extremely hard. Well done !
Yeah, I started learning around a month ago about music theory, orchestration, piano so I'm happy how it ended up being. But I ABSOLUTELY need to check for courses or something on Mixing and Mastering because it's pretty crappy right now xD
The only thing saving the sound is that I'm using Cinematic Studio Series for most of the orchestra ahaha
Thank you for taking the time to listen :)
Great work! Did you get inspired by the game Gris in terms of theme?
I only have a couple critiques. I feel like the development could go a little farther, and that the instruments could sound more human.
Development is like the biggest thing to think about with composing. It's subjective and infinite, but it also follows patterns.
Yes, This is my first piece ever after about a month of learning music theory, japanese music, piano, orchestration etc, and I'm I know a lot of "expression" is missing for now, everything is kind of the same velocity and stuff.
So I'm happy to get your feedback and am planning indeed on an updated version with more polish and adding 2 sections that are missing currently from my submission.
I think that's maybe what you're referring as development. These 2 missing sections (4 bars each) are supposed to transport the little girl into this new world before settling at the end like it is right now, with a lot of magical and optimistic sounds, one last grandiose part that was not included due to lack of time and my inability to work fast for now xD
I'm hopeful this will help the piece feel more complete, would love your feedback once that's done!
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen and comment!
I completely forgot to answer, I have never played Gris other than see the pretty pictures. Is the theme similar? If so I need to play it ASAP, coz it's a theme that is super close to me. I suffer quite a lot daily with object permanence, and more philosophically, impermanence has always been something kind of worrying. So I don't know, I just saw that theme jump out of the picture all of a sudden and went with it lol
Gris is very similar. I don't want to spoil it. I only watched some playthroughs, but I have an idea of the gist.
Your attention to detail is apparent in this soundtrack! This is a great interpretation of both the text and picture themes. Your composition allows each of the instruments to shine without one or the other getting in the way. I really enjoyed this, great job!
Thank you so much for the kind words!
Happy you liked it, your submission was quite impressive, so I take your feedback to heart :)
Such a gorgeous and emotional journey, really pulling at my heart strings with the cello and horn countermelodies just creating such an excellent story as i got pulled through this song, not a singular boring moment! Your arrangement of this really made it feel like the melodies and complex lines were being passed so effortlessly between the different instruments, creating a very consistent flow through the piece making it really enjoyable to listen to. The reverb might be a touch on the high side, but honestly thats an afterthought after listening to this. Nice work!!
Pixcele rated me! Pixcele rated me!!!!
Thank you so much for the great feedback. Yeah you can tell I've been at it for a month, the mixing, mastering or even choice of reverb and stuff is bad as hell xD. I'm hopeful I can learn more so I do a better impression next time we meet :)
Honestly super impressive for such little time!!! I see great things from here on out.
Thank you for the encouragement!
you beautifully dissected the theme into something profound, and the track accompanies the ideas you've brought to the table remarkably well. if i'm being honest, this doesn't sound like something i'd necessarily hear in a game - it sounds more like a soundtrack to an anime, but that sort of makes me appreciate it more.
Hey thanks for the input!
Indeed this main theme is actually playing during a cinematic sequence I kind of descibed on my notes!
It does set the theme for all other tracks I had planned but unfortunately with less than 48 hours and the fact that I'm super new to all this, this one track just took all the time I had xD
But thank you still for listening and your invaluable feedback, I hope to get better in the future so I can tackle more tracks at once!
Absolutely stunning arrangement! The strings gave me chills—it's quickly become one of my favorite pieces. The way everything comes together is just beautiful.
Thank you, I'm happy I was able to share the feelings properly :)
This is so beautiful! I agree with what others have said about it giving studio-ghibli vibes. This would work so well as the background for a long, emotional cutscene, or for a story trailer. So impressive, especially for someone new to learning music theory! Hope you do well :)
Thank you so much. I'm really happy it got the right vibes out! First think I started studying was a bunch of youtubers explaining music theory in Japan, and of course Studio Ghibli signature strategies to sound how they sound. So happy I got at least close enough to evoke the same feelings, and the exact ones i wanted specifically for the theme I was going for!
Those strings are beautiful! BEAUTIFUL, I SAY! That orchestration is great overall, with little to critique. The climax at 1:17 is epic as can be, and I really love that there wasn't too much percussion, but it was rather used to occasionally and subtly support the rest of the instruments. It does clip out with the cut-off cello at the very end, feels unintentional. Otherwise, phenominal job! :D
Thank you so much for the kind words. From someone with such beautiful work, I take it as super high praise <3
I'm still learning but I did feel something was kind of off with at the end, but I'm so fresh into this world I didn't even think it could be something clipping or just fighting against the cello. Thank you will absolutely update this to take your feedback into account!
A solid 3 minutes of content. Impermanence is such an interesting take on the theme, and your track fits the emotion greatly. The production value is excellent as well. 1:17 is where things get real haha. Not much to say, I liked it!
Thank you, I struggle with object permanence on a daily level, and impermanence as a philosophical matter has always been something I thought deep about due to said daily struggles, and more longterm struggles too I guess.
So Impermanence literally jumped out of that picture for me and I'm happy I was able to convey a bit of the feelings I wanted to share!
Thank you for your really kind words!
IS THAT THE LICK AT THE BEGINNING LMAOOOOOO! otherwise, im really impressed by your melody work! it all feels so natural, and it flows so well into each part! great work on this!
NGL I started learning all this music composition shenanigans, music theory and the piano pretty much at the same time over the past month from absolute zero...
So I had to actually check on youtube what was heck is THE LICK, and open the project again because those initial chords were really just a happy accident while experimenting with open voicings (quartile) and checking what sounds good xD
Learned a new thing thank you!
I did start immediately dissecting japanese music that is heavily Jazz influenced, so I guess when I was learning about quartile voicing and colour tones, I must have stumbled upon the "God Chord", it was so beautiful I was like okay that's exactly the start I wanted, that impressionist vibe to paint the picture immediately.
Thank you so much for the really kind words!
Absolutely beautiful composition, great layering, wonderful orchestration and development! It also says a lot when your music is so emotional and moving without there being an actual source material to see apart from the story/theme you wrote out. Amazing!
Thank you, I really appreciate it and am super happy it resonated with you. I'm happy all the time spent thinking about the theme didn't go to waste and was able to test my now almost day for day 1 month learning journey of binging all music theory content I can find to learn composition xD
Thank you for the kind words again!
Wow, only 1 month?? That's amazing! I'm in the opposite boat where I've learned theory for a long time but I'm a total beginner when it comes to production, like using a DAW and effects and EQ and all that lol. But if that's what you can compose after only 1 month, then I can't wait to hear what you can make after a year!
Hopefully I can keep growing, but it's always faster to grow at the beginning before hitting walls, which I somewhat stumbled upon already with this composition. I had some ideas that had to be scraped because I couldn't materialize them and the lack of time. I'm hopeful though, everyone gave me good criticism and feedback and have been super positive so it's really encouraging thank you!
One of the most impressive things to me is how effortlessly you develop the material over the course of the piece - the sections flow seamlessly and the crescendos and decrescendos are very natural. Keep up the great work!
Thank you, that reassures me a bit because I actually felt I didn’t do a great job on the section to section flow, but happy to hear that I’m also maybe being overly harsh. Hard not to be when I hear so many masterpiece ost’s from everyone on the jam!
Thank you for the kind words, I really appreciate it!
Very impressive connections with the theme. The bubbles being interpreted as fragility and impermanence is especially memorable and smart. I think the song reflects those ideas super well, making for a result that feels really thought out and high quality. Checking out the Miros was a nice touch as well!
Thank you for the kind words, the majority of the time was really spent trying to express the theme I had in mind, the art did immediately resonate with me, I struggle with object permanence, both day to day with my condition but also as more of a general philosophical point (in this case impermanence).
I’m happy some of it got through the music and you enjoyed the theme!
Really well written! Everything sounds really balanced and flows nicely. You got the perfect balance between happy/peaceful parts and more dissonant/unsettling parts and really captured the story you were going for.
Thank you for the kind words, glad you liked it!
I appreciate getting praise from a top 20 (personally) ❤️
Great job, the melody sound so beatifull and the instruments combine perfectly, what an epic track, so amazing, so beatifull, good job man x3
Thank you, really appreciate it ❤️