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Tsuya - OST Jam 07's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Correlation to theme | #37 | 4.173 | 4.173 |
| Composition | #43 | 4.141 | 4.141 |
| Overall | #61 | 3.979 | 3.979 |
| Impression | #64 | 3.948 | 3.948 |
| Quality | #95 | 3.995 | 3.995 |
| Creativity | #224 | 3.639 | 3.639 |
Ranked from 191 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Judge feedback
Judge feedback is anonymous.
- The overall structure is nicely defined— I love how this opens with that absolutely beautiful flute/piano duet. The introduction of strings is nicely handled and feels sensible and organic, and it builds beautifully into the full statement. Very nicely handled, and has that sense of inevitability that is sometimes very difficult to achieve— excellent work. The C#/Db in the solo violin part at 1:46 does somewhat stick out to me. While I like the idea of increasing the harmonic complexity, something about this particular note doesn’t quite sit right to my ears— I think perhaps because it is at the top of the dynamic peak it pokes out quite a bit. Having said that, this is only a small critique insofar as I think a live player would certainly be able to pull it off by tucking it in a bit— to the extent possible it might be worth trying to get the sample to not make that note protrude quite so much— I certainly can understand *why* you’d like this particular note here (it seems to fit with the overall harmonic idea you’ve developed), the execution in the moment I think needs a bit of smoothing out. Your string writing sounds wonderful, and I think it could be further enhanced by trying to liven up individual string lines *as lines* rather than just chords. You’ve chosen lovely chords to go along with your melody, now try to use that structure as something that can be a framework for arpeggiated chordal textures in say, the cello, or “rocking” figures in the violas, etc. From a production perspective, I do feel like the reverb effects are a touch aggressive for my taste, especially on the piano. Having said that, I love some of the effects you’ve put on the piano, especially those that give it that “snap-back” sound. Very nicely implemented. I love how you bring up the overall density and dynamics after the violin solo, letting us seamlessly segue back into a more soaring string statement— I was expecting the piece to sort of die down after the solo violin section, so it was a pleasant surprise to hear such a nicely-rendered set of ideas here. Based on your notes, I can see how this illustrates that you could adapt your composition to the flow of the story. Overall lovely work that I think definitely achieves what you were attempting to execute!
Description
Orchestral song.
More detail on the page of the submission or in this Miro link:
https://miro.com/app/board/uXjVKzVwkVc=/?share_link_id=923033516824
Message from the artist
https://miro.com/app/board/uXjVKzVwkVc=/?share_link_id=923033516824
Here is a Miro board with my thoughts.
thank you!
Theme
How does it fit the theme?
Impermanence:
Examining the picture, we can see a little girl in a yukata smiling while holding the hand of what seems like a maternal figure (mom, grandma?), so immediately the theme in Japan (a country I would love to visit for its cultural richness and vistas).
I had some thoughts about the text theme "inside my world", and thought that maybe the bubble-shaped lady could be in the imaginative and boundless world of creativity of this kid.
But even if there is a lot of happiness with the girl smiling from ear to ear and the cute, drawn fish, bubbles, and algae, to me it's still reads as something quite tragic.
Bubbles are by essence, one of the flimsiest physical events that I can think of.
When formed they can seemingly pop randomly and almost immediately, and in the mind of a child, they just cease to exist.
They are the beautiful, but ephemeral, the physical manifestation of impermanence.
In a way, they are a good image for life itself, a fragile and provisional state of existence that we are all bound to.
This picture paints, for me, the beautiful imaginative world of a little girl who is, in a way, connecting one last time with a recently deceased mother/grandmother.
Tsuya:
A Japanese wake is called tsuya which means "passing the night".
I think having this be the starting event of this story would fit well both themes.
Saddened by the loss of her mother, the little girl tries to paint a colorful world with her mother on it but as she falls asleep, she gets transported into this dreamy world of her drawings, but now tainted by darkness.
But her mother (bubble lady) will show her the way to save her world, give her the strength to face her new life without her, and for one last time, show just how much she loved her.
Link(s) of the submission on streaming services
https://soundcloud.com/kevin-fernandes-878873752/tsuya-main-theme
Number of tracks1
Genre
Soundtrack use permission
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Comments
Man when that orchestra sweeps up it hits exactly as it should. You did an awesome job :)
Thanks for the really nice feedback, I’m really happy I was able to express things properly!
Edit: Nevermind I had checked you out, beautiful submission, on the phone I couldn’t make out the small picture lol!
Very spheric sound with a somewhat bittersweet touch. And quite good orchestrated. All in all i don't feel there is anything necessary wrong with your mix. However I feel that the reverb sems a tad to strong for me (or maybe it is just a questsion of pre delay for when the reverb hits to get the instruments more in the foreground). Otherwise very well done!
thank you for the kind words, although I don’t really agree in you, in the sense that I feel the mix/mastering is nonexistent, because it essentially is ahaha
I’ll update the track after the jam with a proper mix and mastering work and the actual 2 sections missing that I had to scrape due to lack of time but that portrayed the magical journey into the drawing world. I still feel it’s missing from the song so I can’t wait to finalize this track properly.
I will indeed also take your feedback into account, I’ll definitely tone down reverb! Thank you for taking the time to listen! I loved your work so it means a ton!
This track is so breathtaking, I'm in love with the orchestral. Beautiful work!
Thank you so much, I’m happy my limited knowledge was enough to really express things the way I wanted :)
C’est si beau ! gg pour la création de ce superbe son et j’ai beaucoup aimé aussi lire ton interprétation du thème ! Je pense que je resterai attentive à tes prochaines productions, bravo pour ta participation !!
J’ai un peu lu les autres commentaires et ça donne envie de faire comme toi et d’aller creuser la théorie musicale coté Japon! En tout cas je rejoins le commentaire qui évoquait Ghibli et c’est très très cool! Tu peux être fier 👏
Ah merci ça me fais super plaisir d'entendre que tu as bien aimé tout ça.
J'ai vraiment hâte de retravailler tout ça et finaliser les deux autres tracks que j'avais en tête pour la jam en tout cas.
Merci encore d'avoir pris le temps de lire le lore, c'est un thème qui m'est cher!
Nice composition Dude!
I want more ahah
I think more counter melodie can be interesting for later :)
Merci Léo, venant de toi c'est un honneur!
I am planning a rework for this already with some of the feedback I got, plus 2 sections that I had to leave out due to time constraints.
This for me is actually an incomplete picture of what I wanted to tell with the main theme.
And I'll probably do 2 more pieces that link to this track so hopefully I'll keep your feedback in mind!
this is amazing especially considering you only started a bit ago. I love the shifts in intensity. They manage to tell a variety of emotions in just a single track. And it seems like you put a lot of thought into the theme as well! Keep it up!
Thank you for your kind feedback! Yeah the theme came to me instantly, but how I would articulate it took a week before I managed to actually start composing lol. Thank you for your encouragement!
Really good complete composition! Very interesting interpretation. This 1 composition truly worth as a whole soundtrack.
That's super nice of you, I wish I had more time to do the 2 other compositions I had in mind, hopefully that can be remedied after the jam :)
Thank you :)
Wow this is a really high quality orchestral track! It kinda remind me of some PS2 era Squaresoft game for some reason. I don't know what to say cuz all I can say is just WOW!
I mean PS2 era is probably my favourite because FFX is one of my favourite games of all time. Saying it reminded you of that time and the Squaresoft era, you made my heart melt thank you!!
Thank you for the super kind words, i'm still learning, hopefully V2 of this song will improve the quality and I can add the 2 sections I had to take out due to time constraints.
Hey en effet que de pépites françaises ! <3
Your song has nice opening chords and then unfold in a classic tragic motion. But your orchestration brings so much emotion to it!
Really well crafted mate :)
PS : I love when a melody brings a brief tension like the violon does at 1.45. It catches you off but then it always resolves and provide a powerful feeling, I like that tool :D
Very good job, congratulations !
Edit : Oh ! And I didn't even mention that your take on the theme, while being very down to earth, is very poetic and beautiful. Your song and the description absolutely dance together :)
That dissonance at 1.45 was everything to me! I really wanted to have this fleeting but amazingly powerful moment of tension, I'm happy you liked it <3
FR -> Et merci pour l'écoute, vous êtes tous super talentueux, moi je débute tout juste avec un mois de bagage lol, beaucoup à apprendre!
Ah thanks for the double edit ahahaha :)
Incroyable alors !! Je serai curieux de te DM plus tard pour savoir comme tu t'y es pris :)
Avec grand plaisir!
Lovely!
I appreciate the ending as the arrangement tapers off into strings and piano and then just piano.
Gives the track a real contemplative feel.
Thank you for taking the time to listen and leave feedback, really appreciate it!
Amazingly touching work and 10 times more amazing taking into account that this is your first orchestration!
The emotions you are showing in your music fit the picture perfectly.
You composed a very beautiful melody. I also like the storytelling, how the music becomes more dramatic and impactful by the middle of the track, how it evolves all the time and makes us feel different emotions. Also impressed by the thorough approach to elaborating the game story.
Just a Wow, great job :) looking forward to your next works :)
Super nice of you thank you for taking the time to listen and for the encouragement.
A lot of great feedback will hopefully help take this piece to the next level once the jam is over :)
Props on your creative interpretation of the picture theme, your bubbles metaphor makes a lot of sense. The track you have composed fits the story perfectly, it's captures the tenderness and sadness from trying to hold on to a loved one for just a little longer. The track feels so much longer than 3 minutes because it's packed with so many ideas that are constantly evolving. Congratulations on telling great story in one track, it feels like there's never a wasted moment.
Coming from you, I flushed ngl ahaha
Thank you I'm really happy you felt that way, this theme is an incredibly close one to my heart so it jumped out of the picture instantly upon seeing it for some reason. Thank you for the really nice feedback, I'm really happy my first composition did get the emotions I wanted across!
Am I psycho for thinking this would fit JUST nicely in a Studio Ghibli film?? Unbelievably good, so far the most emotionally crushing piece I've heard this jam. It'll be hard to trump this one.
OH god thank you that's a MASSIVE compliment! In my limited learning time, i did focus on modern japanese music theory which is heavily influenced by jazz, and of course Joe Hisaishi is one of the absolute masters that I went ahead and found analysis for as well as other Japanese composers.
Thank you, you made my day!
Decided to check out your submission because of all the discussion and ratings and HOLY do I understand why that is! For being only a month in this is undeniably amazing work! I can only dream of making anything this good lol. I can easily see this being in a cinematic film or a high end production game, this is some pretty great stuff!
Overall just a really well done and amazingly composed track, especially for being so new! I imagine some pretty big things for any of your future tracks, good luck on your music journey!
That’s all I have to say really, have a great day :D
You way too kind! Thank you for listening to it and giving your opinion!
Oof, what an emotional composition. When the strings came in, they got me making a face like you in your profile picture. I share everyone's sentiment in the comments that this is an amazing piece. I personally wanted the piano to feel closer but that's quite minor.
Great piece, dude. Kudos!
Thank you so much for the feedback, you actually gave me an actionable idea.
I think I'm going to put the piano closer and with less reverb at the start for the lullaby and slowly get it further from us and with more reverb, like if her mother's voice faded as we went through the piece. Thank you so much for that small feedback, it actually helped me realize i could do so much more to actually impress the theme and story into the music!!!
Yeah! It feels like it's in a good place with all the other instruments but sound kinda lonely in the beginning.
I thought the main theme was very compelling. I also liked how you took away the orchestration at a few points to add contrast. I think like what mentioned elsewhere, adding more expression to the strings would really make it sing. All-in-all, great work!
Thank you for the super kind words! Definitely revisiting this with all the feedback I got, I'm excited to get it better on v2 :)
I adore how much thought you put into the story concept for this, and it all comes across in your beautiful track!
I lack the technical knowledge to be able to describe everything, so the best I can do is comment on the feeling it gives, which is absolutely a sense of happiness, sadness, and melancholy like you described :3
Even though you didn’t have time to make other tracks as you had hoped, I feel as though the one you did encapsulates the whole concept of the story!
There’s a tender warmth to it that feels like a mother’s loving embrace while still having a solemn edge that hints at the sense of loss from the child, along with capturing the dreamlike/ephemeral nature of connection through imagination.
It certainly packs an emotional punch :3 I wish my first composition was as stunning as this! Instead, it was so bad I never had the guts to publish it xD I'm excited to hear what else you come up with!
Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm really happy to hear about your feelings and interpretation, it gives meaning to this work really!
Can't wait to hear more from you too!
This is a really solid track, full of tragic emotion and great use of the orchestra to accompany the piano melody, sounds pretty nicely balanced too.
Thank you for taking the time to listen, rate and give me feedback :)
I can clearly picture this track as part of an emotional climax; it strikes a balance between sheer intensity and a calm melancholy. Stunning work!
You’re too kind thank you for your words of encouragement! Happy the emotions came out exactly how I wanted, I will check out your submission tomorrow too for sure!
Beautiful piece! The chord progressions are lovely, and your use of all the instruments and sounds from the orchestra come together very nicely. You nailed the emotion in the music, love the idea of a lullaby. (Bubble lady gave me a chuckle!) Your volume levels are pretty good too ;)
Thanks a ton for the kind review. I feel like the mastering has a lot left to be desired but happy if it suit you. Bubble lady was pure unapologetic creativity at work xD
Thanks for taking the time to listen, I really appreciate it and am happy that the theme came out right!